My Testimony - Part Two

"Mighty Woman Found" - by Carol Ann Welch, oil on canvas 30"x40", Copyright 2010

Jesus said...

"I have come as a Light into the world, so that whoever believes on Me should not remain in darkness." ~ John 12:46

"I am the Door..." ~ John 10:9

"I am the Way..." ~ John 14:6

This morning, nothing seemed more important than finishing this painting. I just couldn't leave that little girl sitting in that dark room any longer. As soon as the morning sunlight filtered into my studio, I was at the easel. Sunday evening, I had reached that place of "finished" where I had to sit back and look for the final touches. I made those few today. It's been a long, difficult battle; but, as Jesus said, it is finished.

As I mentioned in Part One, I've been carrying this painting for about eight years. The vision for it came with the revelation that the light in "Little Girl Lost" is Jesus. And, just like with that earlier painting, the title came with the vision. This painting is a continuation of the little girl's story... my story. Again, it is a self-portrait.

When I rededicated my life to Jesus in 2001, I was still in the grip of depression. On March 4, I sat in church service, choking back the tears. A very sweet woman named Natalie came over to me during the altar call and invited me to go up with her for prayer. When I stepped up to the Pastor and the woman that was ministering with him, all I could say was, "I'm having a hard time." Then the tears came. They began to pray in the Holy Spirit and the woman suddenly said, "Depression, get off of her in the name of Jesus!" There was such authority in her voice! And she knew! How did she know? She called out the very thing, the very name of that horrible plague that had defined my life for so long. I knew that God was at work. As she prayed over me, the minister kept saying, "You're free." Then she had me say. "I'm free." She told me to write down that day's date as the day I was set free. I wrote it in my Bible.

One week later, a visiting minister held a healing altar call. Rick's back pain was healed that night. After witnessing that miracle, I went up for prayer as well. I knew there had been a change in the past week. The depression had eased, but I still had the insomnia, fatigue and anxiety that always went with it. As the minister prayed for me that night, I felt something physically drain from my body, from my head downwards as though it were running down and puddling at my feet. I was flooded with relief and was weak all over. The closest sensation I have ever had was a shot of Demerol, but that doesn't even come close. Rick practically had to carry me to the car. That night I slept better than I ever had in my life.

From that time forward, I experienced a peace and a joy in my life that I never thought I could have. Depression may have defined twenty-five years of my life, but Jesus has defined the last ten. I know that the Lord touched me physically, spiritually and emotionally. I have not taken a single anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication since that time. The depression tried to return a few times, but I stood against it and it could not stay. Until last fall, when I stumbled back into the pit. For the past year, it's been an emotional roller coaster. I have refused to just lay down and give in the way I used to, so this time around has been very different. I have stayed very close to the Lord and I've kept my face turned to the Light.

Which brings me back to this painting. I've carried the vision of it - the little girl grown into a woman, the window actually a door and the true Light come to set her free. But I could never bring myself to paint it, until I found myself in that dark room again. I knew that it was time. I had to paint my way out of that room - once and for all.

"Little Girl Lost" is the easiest painting I have ever done. "Mighty Woman Found" is certainly the most difficult. I have labored over it more than any other painting. I have suffered through so much torment in my soul since I began painting it. I've stepped into some traps and made some mistakes. I was so tempted, so many times, to just quit painting. But, I was determined to finish this painting. It has been such a fight! I laid down a lot to see this one through.

Why was this painting so hard? I believe it's because we have an enemy, God's enemy, who is determined to hamper the efforts of Christians to spread the Gospel. What did the devil really care for a depressed housewife to paint a picture of a little girl with "hope"? The Holy Spirit worked through me with little or no interference. But, for a woman of faith to find the way out of darkness and paint a picture that demonstrates that way out - well, that just might be considered a threat. Praise God!! It is my desire and my prayer that "Mighty Woman Found" will find her way into the lives of others who are trapped in the dark and show them the Way out.

When I began, I did not see what was in the doorway. I knew that Jesus was there, but I expected it to be filled with light. It was only as I was painting that I began to see past the door. A path took shape, then a garden grew. I believe these two paintings tell the story of a little girl who grew up in the Light, although she was surrounded by darkness. Finally, she was drawn to the Light and looked fully into it, realizing its source. She called out to the Light and He answered. He opened a door into the darkness and offered her freedom. She took His hand....

For a few weeks now, I have been seeing the woman stand up and walk out of that room - always from the perspective of the painting's viewer. This morning, after I signed the painting, I sat back and closed my eyes. I saw through the eyes of the woman in the painting. I looked into His face and I stood up. I followed Him out the door and it closed behind us. I felt His hand. I felt the stones beneath my feet. I smelled the roses. I felt the sunlight and the breeze. Joy came this morning, and with it, laughter. Holding my Lord's hand, I began to walk the path of my destiny.

Therefore if the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed. ~ John 8:36