Download

I love it when God gives me a download. It’s a beautiful thing – a powerful visual image combined with crystal clear understanding and the scriptures to back it up. Rare, but beautiful.

I received just such a download last Sunday. It came during worship, during the chorus of a song. I don’t even remember the song and it doesn’t even matter. The download came full and vivid and complete – a seamless flow of my Father’s loving grace. I was exhausted to my core. The download didn’t immediately fix that. I still went home and curled up in bed with a good book. What the download did was strengthen me. It reminded me of what He has done so that I may enter into God’s rest - that true deep rest that refreshes and revives. He knew that I needed it. He knew what was coming this week. Hard things. Heart-breaking things.

So, here’s the download:

Fighting battles wears you out.

I saw a warrior walking through the midst of a raging battle. All around, fire light flashed off of armor and swords. Clashing metal rang out amidst shouts and screams. Chaos surrounded the warrior on every side, but she walked amidst stillness. The battle parted before her and enemies fell to each side, leaving a wide berth as she passed through. She wasn’t bloodied or beleaguered. She was pristine. Untouched. Most importantly, she walked in victory. The battle still raged about her, but she walked through it knowing – KNOWING – KNOWING – that the battle was already won!

As I saw this vision, these words sprang from my heart: A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

The fullness of Psalms 91 swept over me. Because He is my refuge, no evil shall befall me. His angels have been given charge over me.

Then came Exodus 14:14, The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. Or, as my favorite translation goes: GOD BATTLES! Shh!

I felt myself reaching out to God, wondering if it could really be that simple, and He answered me. My Father knows me so well, that He knows exactly what to show me. Jesus. For me, Jesus is always the last Word. I saw Jesus walking on the water, unmoved by the raging wind around Him. 

Later, I looked up the story in Mark 6:

And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land. And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them. But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out: For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, “Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.”  And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.

Notice two things here:

1. When the disciples were alone they were rowing against the wind, toiling and laboring and wearing themselves out; but when Jesus joined them, the wind ceased.
2. Jesus would have passed by them, except that they cried out. When they did that, he spoke peace and comfort to them and joined them. 

This tells me that when I find myself toiling and wearing myself out, I need to cry out to Jesus! He will give me rest.

I find that my Father brings me back to this again and again. I have tasted the rest of God. I have experienced periods of it and I know the peace that is found in having faith in Him. Still, my focus wanders and my Lord lovingly reminds me to return to Him and rest in Him. That doesn’t mean to just sit around doing nothing expecting God to subsidize my laziness. No! That means to live and work and serve and do what I can, while trusting Him to do what I cannot. 

There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. ~ Hebrews 4:9-11

***

Father, I trust You right now to make all the crooked places straight, to heal broken hearts, and mend broken lives. I trust You to handle all the things that are too big and too difficult for me to even comprehend. I stand before You, a worn-out cranky child, reaching up my arms for You to lift me up, embrace me, and comfort me. But mostly, Father, I ask You to lift up the ones that can’t reach up to You right now. Please, lift them up, hold them, comfort them, and lavish them with Your love.

To Be One With The Air

"Wings of Eagles" - pencil sketch

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31

Have you ever watched a bird catch an updraft? Rick saw one the other day and told me how the bird was just flying along, then it turned into the wind, leaned its wings back and whoosh - it went straight up. Amazing! As Rick spoke, I imagined what it would be like. So, here I am writing where that little thought took me.

Imagine the intimate relationship that a bird must have with the air. The bird in flight is completely dependent upon or subject to air currents, wind speed, updrafts, and all things air. Imagine being suspended in the wind, far above the ground, surrounded by nothing but air. Upheld by nothing but air. Birds must be aware of every fluctuation in pressure, direction, and speed. They know how to use it to their advantage. For years, I have watched birds gather in trees, on high wires, and on the ground just before a cold front or a storm arrives. They do so because the air pressure is so low, that flying is too difficult and exhausts them. They know days in advance of the storm's arrival. If you watch the birds closely enough you can predict the weather. They live in the weather, so they know. They also know how to conserve energy by riding air currents. I guess you could say that they rest in the air. If they need to move higher, they just catch a current and let it lift them.

Do you get the picture? Can you see how intimately connected the birds are with the air? Then, let's make some connections.

Point 1: The birds live, move, and have their very being in the air. They are intimate with it.

Point 2: Acts 17:28 says, "For in Him we live and move and have our being..."

Point 3: In the New Testament, the word Spirit (as in Holy Spirit) is translated from the Greek word pneuma, meaning "a current of air, a breath (blast), or a breeze."*

Now, imagine what it might be like to be as intimate with the Holy Spirit as a bird is with the air. I think that was God's plan for sending Him to us. Jesus said, "Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you." (John 16:7) He knew that we needed the Holy Spirit in order to have this intimate relationship.

Maybe you're thinking it's harder for us, because we don't live with Him the way the birds live with the air. To that I say, it's our choice whether we do or don't. A bird can choose to hop around on the ground its whole life, but that leaves it vulnerable and weak. Perhaps it's scary for them to take to the air the first time. They only learn to fly by flying - in the air. We are meant to live in Him. We are meant to know in advance of a storm's arrival. We are meant to rest in Him. We are meant to be lifted higher by Him. We are meant to live and move and have our being in Him.

So, how do we do that? I believe that the key is to be continually mindful of Him. Scripture study, prayer, praise, and worship are part of that, but not all. Be thankful for what He has blessed you with. Learn to keep Him in your thoughts throughout your daily activities. If you have a problem, ask for His wisdom. Talk to Him about your work, your family, and your life. Think of Him as someone right next to you throughout your day. You will be amazed. The Bible tells us that the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to a friend (Ex. 33:11). That is the intimacy of which I speak.

Finally, one more tidbit before I go. A word study of Isaiah 40:31 revealed that the Hebrew root of the phrase "wait upon" means "to bind or twist together."* That sounds very intimate to me.

But they who are bound together with the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

Remember, you can only learn to fly by flying.

***

Lord, I hunger for intimacy with you. Please, teach me to fly in Your Spirit.

***

* Definitions are from Strong's Hebrew and Greek Dictionaries.

Just Bein' a Bear...

"Surly Bear" - ink sketch

I woke up today feeling like Surly Bear. Tired, achy, and grumpy. As the day progressed, Snarly Bear even made a few appearances. I imagine this is what a bear feels like when her hibernation is interrupted. I know why I'm this way. I've been pushing too hard. I've been too busy for too long. I need to hibernate.

When I was a teenager, my uncle Jim nicknamed me "Bear," because I spent so much time in my bedroom. He said I was hibernating. In a way, I guess I was. I'd hibernate for awhile everyday after school. I needed that quiet time to unwind after eight hours of people, voices, noise, crowded hallways, concentration, learning, and praying that I didn't have to talk to anybody but my closest friends. I'm so thankful that Mom understood and allowed me that time as much as possible. Now, as an adult, it seems that there is always something needing to be done or someone needing my attention. I literally forget to hibernate. It's silly, I know. Like forgetting to eat, which I do far too often. It's a good thing that breathing is involuntary, or I'd get too busy for that.

Why is hibernation so necessary for me? Because I'm an introvert. I've known this since a very young age, yet back then the word introvert was synonymous with words like shy, withdrawn, and anti-social. It was thought that introverts just weren't comfortable around people. Made sense to me. I wasn't comfortable around people. I just never understood why. Today, there is a better understanding of introversion and extroversion. They both have to do with energy. Extroverts are energized by being around other people. Introverts, however, are drained by social situations. Instead, we draw energy from solitude. At least, that's the short, simplified explanation. There are lots of better explanations available, so I'll leave it at that. If you're hungry for more, I recommend Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. It helped me. A lot.

So, I've accepted that I'm a Bear, and as such I need to hibernate at times. If I don't, then I have to contend with Surly Bear, who's irritable and moody, or Snarly Bear, who snaps at the people she loves. There's also Edgy Bear, who's a pain because she can't be still and frets about every little thing. Those three bears are bad enough, but if not dealt with, they tend to transform into Dreary Bear that just sits like a lump and sees only bad things. Let's not even speak of the dreaded Raging Grizzly-Witchy Bear. It's always best to hibernate long before she gets loose.

Thankfully, in my home the phrase, "I need to introvert," is spoken and understood. I live with two more introverts and an extrovert with anti-social tendencies. We understand the need to hibernate. My challenge is that I allow other things to seem more important. I allow time to slip through my fingers in the name of busy. I am working to change that. Right now. This is hibernation. Even if it's only for a few hours or a few minutes. 

I believe that God intentionally created me to be an introvert. He knew who I would be and how I would need to be it. So, wisdom tells me to accept what I need and make room for it in my life. I need quiet time in which to unwind, think, create, pray, and simply BE. I need to absorb nature - feel the wind, listen to the birds, smell the flowers, and warm in the sun. I need to get lost in a story, whether it's a book, a movie, or something I'm writing or daydreaming. I need to immerse myself in an art project and contemplate the mystical-magical interaction of light and color. I need to draw a line to see where it takes me. I need to get comfortable, take a deep breath, exhale, and truly relax. I need to have a deep heart-to-heart with my Father Creator, not just prayer-on-the-fly. I need to BE. And when I do such things, I get to be Cozy Bear, who is relaxed, content, and at peace. 

***

Lord, thank you for making me who I am. Please teach me how to be the me You see.

Be Still and Know...

"Be still, and know that I am God!" ~ Psalm 46:10

I began an art journal in January of this year, and this was one of my first entries. I spent a good deal of time on it, both drawing it and researching for it. It began with just the scripture and the girl on the Rock. That was my original inspiration, and I sketched it out fairly quickly and inked it. Just a little drawing floating in the midst of the page. The more I meditated on that one scripture, the more I saw on that page. For me, scripture meditation usually includes looking up words to get deeper meaning. So I decided to include two definitions and some synonyms - you can see them in the waves.

• Stillness: a state of freedom from storm or disturbance; peace, tranquility, hush, calmness, rest, shh.
• Knowledge: awareness or familiarity gained by experience; realization, understanding, comprehension, wisdom, perceive, grasp, discern.

The drawing came together piece by piece. Part of Psalm 91 is written in the rain. The clouds are filled with scriptures of the Lord's victory. His names form the Rock on which I rest.

I was in the midst of some storms when I drew this. Two beloved family members were in the hospital. Outcomes were uncertain. I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and in physical pain. The Lord used this drawing to hold me together and keep my focus on Him. Today, both family members are well. God knew. I didn't. So He had me write victory in the clouds and security in the rain, even when I couldn't see it around me. Isn't He wonderful?

Psalm 46:10 is one of my favorite scriptures. This is the message I receive from the Lord more than any other. So many times, when I pray for an answer or direction, I hear that still, small voice say, "be still, and know that I am God." He reminds me that He is in control and I'm not. My part is to be at peace and trust Him. Trusting Him gets easier all the time, as I gain experience with Him in my life. I see His goodness, His grace, and His love. It's comforting to trust someone that you know loves you absolutely and completely. No matter what. I still struggle with the peace part, but I'm learning. I still get depressed, overwhelmed, angry, and frustrated. I still have panic attacks. However, the wonderful difference is that these things don't move me the way they once did. It is such a victory for me to say that! I may forget at times, lift my head and consider the storm around me; but I don't move off the Rock! I remember His promises.

A church elder once commented that she was afraid I would lose ground if I stepped down from a leadership position in the church. At the time, I was frightened of that too. In fact, all the years I went to church regularly, I was afraid that if I ever stopped going, I would lose the spiritual ground I had gained. I've been out of church for a few years now and that fear is gone. I believe it's been a season just as important as the season I spent in church. I'll admit that I've lost some things. I've lost some Pharisee-like thinking and attitude. I've lost some legalistic, unlovely doctrines that are not supported by scripture, no matter how often they continue to be preached. Goodbye and good riddance. What I haven't lost is my faith, my love of God, my trust in Him. I haven't lost spiritual ground. How could I lose these things when I wholeheartedly believe that He, the Author and Finisher of my faith, keeps them for me, holding them tightly in the nail holes of His hands.

***

Lord, thank you for teaching me to be still and know....

The Crepe Myrtles are Saying It's Fall

Fall is my favorite season! Every year, I spend August's sweltering days anticipating the cool of autumn. When September arrives, I begin watching the trees. While driving, I've noticed that certain trees are shifting to yellow as if sighing that they are just too hot and tired to maintain their summer green. In my own yard, I heed the crepe myrtles - my watchers on the wall, ready to signal the change to come. Yellow-tinged leaf tips whisper secrets of shorter days and cool breezes. Each day, golden hues seep further along and spread the word. Finally, the leaf blushes, sounding the red alert before it fades into brown and falls silently to the path below.

Fascinated by this ritual, I plucked a few leaves and brought them into the studio to sketch. A younger me might have stood on the rocky garden path, balancing a sketchbook, drawing pencil, kneaded eraser, and a dozen or so coloring pencils as I drew them still on the tree. The older and wiser me preferred my comfy chair and air conditioning, only to face the frustrating task of preventing Kitty Mau from tasting, caressing, and stealing the leaves! Upon realizing the battle was futile, I went to fetch leaves just for her. She rubbed them, licked them, and promptly batted them off the table and onto the floor. She liked my leaves better. So much for wisdom on my part. I resorted to placing the canned air, her mortal enemy, next to the leaves. Truce achieved. 

Colored pencils are a new medium to me. I purchased a set of Prismacolor Verithins recently and have enjoyed playing with them. They are very different from chalk, conte, or oil pastels - all of which are old friends of mine. I need to study a few pencil techniques and practice. Overall, I'm fairly pleased with the drawing. I love the different stages of the color shifts in the leaves. I couldn't do it justice. Still, it's wonderful to be making art again - doing it just for the pure joy of bringing something from nothing. No pressure, no deadlines, no expectations. Simply bliss.

On another note, you may have noticed that my blog got a makeover. I've been wanting to come back to it with a fresh start, so voilà! The cloudy background is a digital painting on a canvas texture. A bit of a rushed job, not wanting to wait for paint to dry, but I think it's rather fun.

So, I rejoice in the new season, comforted by the surety of its coming. 

While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. ~ Gen 8:22


Lord, I thank you for autumn, the time of harvest, and for mild weather to relish before the biting winter comes. Thank you for establishing the routine and rotation of seasons as a continual reminder of your steadfastness and eternal stewardship over the earth. I praise you in every season and revel in your unending love!

New Mercies

It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  ~ Lamentations 3:22-23

2014 was a brutal year. It was a year of dismay, grief, pain, and life-altering changes. Yes, there were snippets of joy, victory, and laughter throughout; but it left me with an overall sense of gloom. The last week of December found me stunned, heartbroken, and barely able to function. 

I spent much of this year's first weekend wrapped in a blanket in a dark, quiet room. No television. Just quiet. I read and slept and pondered the above scripture. I kept thinking New Year - New Mercies. It seems to me that if the Lord's mercies and compassions are new every morning, then how fresh they must be in the dawn of a new year! The thought gave me hope. 

By the grace of His mercy and His great love, I can move forward leaning on His eternal strength. I can face the trials ahead with the knowledge that He supplies all my needs - strength, wisdom, peace, patience, joy, faith, and hope. I don't have to manufacture them on my own. I simply ask, and thus I am able to draw them up from the deep well of His abundance:

His strength is made perfect in my weakness. 

His wisdom is freely given. 

His peace has already been given to me. 

Patience has her perfect work.

In His presence is fullness of joy.  

He is the author and the finisher of my faith. 

My hope is in Him.

Thank you, Lord, for a new year, new mercies, and Your unfailing compassions.

Photo credit - © 2014 Rick Welch 

Find-No-Fault Friday

The Daily Kindness Challenge

Therefore be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you shall be forgiven.

~ Luke 6:36-37

Ready for the weekend? Let's celebrate the end of the workweek by giving everybody a great big break today! No complaining about people, no talking bad about people, no judging people, and no condemning people.

Wow! That's asking a lot for a Friday. Let's face it - we all have people who get on our last nerve. And we love to vent about it! It feels so good to just get it all out in a good gripe. But, I read somewhere recently that venting is not as great as we've all thought. It tends to stir us up more than calm us down. I've been paying attention since I read that, and I suspect there may be some wisdom to it. Complaining about a person certainly affects our overall attitude toward them, as does listening to someone else complain about them. If we stopped looking for and talking about people's faults, would we be kinder to them? To others? To ourselves?

Want a real challenge? Give yourself a break today! Stop judging yourself so harshly. God loves you! Surely, He's not wrong about what a great person you are. ;)  Be kind to yourself today by not knocking yourself down. Focus on your strengths.

Today, our goal is to overlook faults and keep a positive attitude toward others and ourselves. Yesterday, we practiced thinking well of people. Today we are ignoring the not-so-good, and actively looking for the good. When you're tempted to complain, praise instead. Find something good to say. End the week on a positive note. It's okay to be happy.

Have a kind day!

Lord, thank you for your great mercy! Thank you for forgiving my sins. Please help me to overlook faults in others and in myself. Help me to complain less and stop judging others critically. Help me to see the good in others and in myself. I pray this for the people taking this challenge, too. Help them to see past faults and find good. Help us all to be kind. Amen.