The Crepe Myrtles are Saying It's Fall

Fall is my favorite season! Every year, I spend August's sweltering days anticipating the cool of autumn. When September arrives, I begin watching the trees. While driving, I've noticed that certain trees are shifting to yellow as if sighing that they are just too hot and tired to maintain their summer green. In my own yard, I heed the crepe myrtles - my watchers on the wall, ready to signal the change to come. Yellow-tinged leaf tips whisper secrets of shorter days and cool breezes. Each day, golden hues seep further along and spread the word. Finally, the leaf blushes, sounding the red alert before it fades into brown and falls silently to the path below.

Fascinated by this ritual, I plucked a few leaves and brought them into the studio to sketch. A younger me might have stood on the rocky garden path, balancing a sketchbook, drawing pencil, kneaded eraser, and a dozen or so coloring pencils as I drew them still on the tree. The older and wiser me preferred my comfy chair and air conditioning, only to face the frustrating task of preventing Kitty Mau from tasting, caressing, and stealing the leaves! Upon realizing the battle was futile, I went to fetch leaves just for her. She rubbed them, licked them, and promptly batted them off the table and onto the floor. She liked my leaves better. So much for wisdom on my part. I resorted to placing the canned air, her mortal enemy, next to the leaves. Truce achieved. 

Colored pencils are a new medium to me. I purchased a set of Prismacolor Verithins recently and have enjoyed playing with them. They are very different from chalk, conte, or oil pastels - all of which are old friends of mine. I need to study a few pencil techniques and practice. Overall, I'm fairly pleased with the drawing. I love the different stages of the color shifts in the leaves. I couldn't do it justice. Still, it's wonderful to be making art again - doing it just for the pure joy of bringing something from nothing. No pressure, no deadlines, no expectations. Simply bliss.

On another note, you may have noticed that my blog got a makeover. I've been wanting to come back to it with a fresh start, so voilà! The cloudy background is a digital painting on a canvas texture. A bit of a rushed job, not wanting to wait for paint to dry, but I think it's rather fun.

So, I rejoice in the new season, comforted by the surety of its coming. 

While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. ~ Gen 8:22


Lord, I thank you for autumn, the time of harvest, and for mild weather to relish before the biting winter comes. Thank you for establishing the routine and rotation of seasons as a continual reminder of your steadfastness and eternal stewardship over the earth. I praise you in every season and revel in your unending love!

Catching Up

Oh my, I have been away for far too long!

My last post was on my 49th birthday... only three months ago... well, nearly four. So, what have I been up to? I did a lot of writing in May, none of which I chose to share here. Some things were just for me. Other things are for later. May was a marvelous month! Lots of gardening, lots of heart-to-heart talks with the Lord (funny how those two things tend to go together), the beginning of summer movie blockbusters, and evenings sitting with my sweetheart.

Marvelous May changed into Joyful June (at least for the first half), because it was an extension of all the marvelous things in May... plus one really awesome day of fishing with my Dad and all the extended family. Then June became not so joyful. I had a very nasty fall which resulted in a severely sprained hip and a moderately sprained knee. The rest of June is a fog of pain, medication, crutches and laying back in the recliner because it hurt to sit. I have a very clear, happy memory of my guys taking me to see "The Searchers" at the theater. I had taken a pain pill, so sitting did not hurt too bad. It was so great to see John Wayne on the big screen for the first time in 34 years! Also, I remember my husband doing EVERYTHING! He completely ran the show around here and did an awesome job!!! Our sons were a great help too. I have never seen them so concerned about me. All in all, my guys spoiled me rotten. Except for the pain, it was pretty great!

Most of July is a blur, too. The highlight was that Rick and I had our 25th wedding anniversary. Since I was still on crutches, we could not take the trip that we had planned. That was a major bummer. But, we made the best of it and went out for a movie and dinner. It was lovely. Since our first ever movie date was spent watching a Disney princess - "Sleeping Beauty" - we thought it would be fitting to spend our 25th anniversary date watching another Disney princess; so we went to see "Brave." It was such fun! Then we went out for catfish and after that I was ready for the recliner and more pain meds. Not the wonderful celebration we had hoped for, but it was still very special. Hey, as long as I get to spend my anniversary with my man, then I'm blessed!

The highlight of August was our youngest son's 18th birthday.  I'm still in shock. My baby is grown! How could this happen? But, I have to say that I am very proud of that young man! He is so level-headed, kind and peaceful. I am amazed at his stability. In fact, I am very proud of both my sons! They are amazing men! I thank God for them continually!

So, as September approaches, I find myself on the mend. I am walking much easier. Sitting is still a pain, but I know that all is well. The past few months have been a difficult trial, but the Lord has been with me constantly. I have learned much about patience, healing, humility, faith and simply leaning on Jesus. I have learned that I am not superwoman, nor do I want to be. I've learned that my family can get along without my help, control and interference; but they'd rather not. That makes my heart so warm! I've been reminded what a blessing it is to simply walk. My Heavenly Father has turned this accident to my good in so many ways. I am grateful for His guidance, His companionship, His mercy, His patience and His healing touch. I am grateful for the grace that my husband and sons have extended to me throughout this trial. At times, I have been difficult, depressing and downright despicable. But, they loved me anyway! How absolutely divine is that? To be at your complete worst, yet still be loved!! I am exceedingly abundantly blessed!

Lord, help me to love others when they are at their worst. In fact, sometimes it's hard to love them when they are at their best. Please help me to see the good in them always. Make the eyes of my heart blind to outward appearances, so that I may see the heart of others as You do, Father. Help me to love with Your heart and extend mercy as do You. Thank You, Lord, for Your tender mercies!

Random Musings of the Day

Goal of the Day: To have more fun with this blog and stop being so uptight. Everything I write does not have to be some profound insight. Duh! :P I am free to be myself and find my voice. I will stop getting twisted up with who might read this and what they might think! I am going to R-E-L-A-X! Oh dear, what a concept!

Good News of the Day: According to the LA Times, polling data indicates that younger viewers are more likely to love the movie "Inception" and older viewers are more likely to dislike it. Hooray! I'm young!! Loved the movie!

Accomplishments of the Day: Grocery shopping and finally getting around to creating the worksheets that I have not wanted to do. And, hopefully, this blog.

Pet of the Day: Shadow in his favorite spot! He is an Australian Shepherd/Keeshond mix that we have had since birth. He got very depressed when his mom, Chewie, died in 2006 and put on a lot of weight. I haven't helped matters by supporting his Milkbone habit. The guys fuss at me for supplying his "fixes". Shadow is Quinten's best bud! He is also a 75 pound lapdog if we let him be. He catches tennis balls like a pro and will bring them back every time (unlike his sister) until he gets tired. He and his sister Faith turned 10 years old last May. Shadow is a bona fide good dog!

Pet Peeve of the Day: Generalizations! I had a wake up call this morning and I've decided that I'm very displeased at being told things like, "everything you do..." or "you never ever..." or "you always say..."! Such things are exaggerations and usually downright lies from the father of lies and I'm not buying into that nonsense anymore. I have been told such generalizations before and been absolutely guilt-ridden with myself only to wake up to several examples that blatantly disprove the accusation. So, fair warning mankind, if you speak to me in the future using such a generalization, I'm closing my ears. And I will do my best to keep it out of my dialogue because it is poor, self-serving, defensive, psuedo-communication that accomplishes nothing positive.

Jessey Quote of the Day: "Come kill it please?" Followed by an explanation of how he can generally kill things on his own, but this is a wasp... in his room.... (BTW, Dad killed it and no one got stung.)

Observation of the Day: Kitty Mau just stormed past me with a look of indignation. Guess she wanted to be Pet of the Day.

Spiritual Insight of the Day: The human spirit is like a rechargeable battery. If we plug into the things of God - love, joy, peace, faith, kindness... - we recharge. All the negative things of the world drain us. We should recharge daily! ...or constantly!!

Be Blessed...

Notes from the Battlefield

"The Dragonslayer" - conte pencil on black matboard

Several years ago, the Lord gave me a picture of a sculptor working on a marble statue. The sculptor was the Lord and the statue was me. He was breaking off large chunks and letting them fall to the ground. Then I saw myself running around the base of the statue picking up those chunks and crying, “no, Lord, I need this!” He replied, “no, you don’t,” and kept right on working. Wow, at the time, I thought that was painful.

Lately, I have seen myself on a battlefield in the midst of a raging battle. It’s back in the days of swords and armor. I have on the Armor of God and I’m fighting the enemy back with my sword; but I’m getting hacked where the armor doesn’t cover. I am bloodied and my flesh is being stripped. I cry out to God and He says, “you don’t need what’s being stripped away.” The Lord showed me that He’s using the enemy to purify me. God’s Armor covers what really counts and the enemy can’t touch those areas. But this other stuff has to go.

It is not pleasant.

At least I am flesh now and no longer stone.

Two weeks ago, during church service, the Lord gave me further revelation on this battlefield. I have been seeing all the strongholds in my life as separate battles. I’ll be fighting a battle on behalf of my family here, but there’s a battle against depression over there that I need to fight, and there’s that one against fear and insecurity over there. And weight loss – HA – I don’t even have time to fight that one! But the Lord revealed to me that there is only one battle on one field and each stronghold is only one enemy. Before, my picture was of an endless battlefield with scores of enemies for each stronghold. Not so. That was a false image that was deceiving me into feeling overwhelmed. With this new vision, the battlefield is smaller and the enemy’s numbers have dwindled. Yes, they are still on all sides of me; but I can take them all on and have victory. I am not overwhelmed. I am more than a conqueror.

So what if my soul feels like it’s ripped, bloody and bleeding. If my King says I don’t need what I’ve lost, then so be it. He allowed Himself to be ripped up for me. If He endured it in His flesh, I can endure it in my soul. My emotions have been ripped up before and I have always come out stronger on the other side. Stronger in faith and stronger in my devotion to my King.

During church service last Sunday, Pastor Linda was proclaiming that our mountains are cast down and are no more. When she said this, I saw myself on that battlefield again and all those enemies that have been surrounding me fell to the ground as dust. I stood on an empty battlefield. I saw my victory!

The battle has still been raging in my thoughts, but I’m not giving it place. I have seen my victory!

A couple of days ago, something very unimportant and insignificant happened that caused the enemy’s vultures to swoop in on my thoughts and start picking me apart. I said no. Eventually, I yielded up the prideful part that let those dark punks in to begin with. But I did not let them drag me into the pit. I told them “NO”. Victory!

My painting has been another battle. I have not made much progress lately. I keep having to wipe it out or paint over. That happens sometimes…usually when I’m trying too hard. I won’t let it be a big deal. I won’t quit. This painting is a key for me. It’s a breakthrough. It’s my testimony. That’s why there’s a battle. When it’s finished, I’m going to post it and write about it. For His glory, not mine. Before I post that painting, I have to post the little girl and tell her story. I don’t want to and I’ve been dreading it. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you will.) I shouldn’t be dreading it. It’s a story about Jesus and his unfailing love. Yep, that’s it. I choose to look at the story that way. Victory!

"The Dragonslayer" is a blast from my past. I think I did it back in the 80's...maybe early 90's. I wanted a battle picture to go with this post, so I dug it out of hiding. I think it looks very Disney. Sleeping Beauty, maybe. I love to use bright colors on black. I need to do more fun stuff like this and stop being so serious all the time.

Anyway, that’s my blog for today, such as it is. Until next time, I’ll be on the battlefield… cutting off heads and turning the enemy to dust.

Art Gallery

Since I began this blog, I have wanted to add a little slideshow art gallery. Well, I finally did. I borrowed my wonderful husband's camera (without asking, then I forgot to turn it off... I'm so glad he loves me and forgives these things) and took some photos. They are not full works, but details of some of my favorite paintings (and one pen & ink drawing). All but one of these are hanging in our home. Some day I'll get my sweetheart to take good digital photos of all my artwork and scan the slides of the work that I no longer have.

It's amazing how I live with these paintings and walk past them daily; but when I place them in a new setting like the slideshow I gain a new appreciation for them. It just goes to show how we can so easily take precious things for granted and need to wake ourselves up every now and again. Not that my paintings are that precious in general, but they are to me and my family. I see them as a testimony of God's love for me. I am very grateful for His gifts.

My new painting is coming along well. I've made quite a bit of progress in the last week or so. It has reached the point where I know that it will work. The underpainting is complete, all the elements are in place and I know where to go from here. I'm sure it still has a few surprises for me. I think that might be fun. It used to terrify me. I am beginning to realize that I don't control the painting and make it what I want it to be. I find the painting. It seems that Michelangelo said something similar about sculpting. He found the sculpture in the rock. OK, I will have to look that up now to learn what he actually said.... Actually I found several quotes on the subject, but here is the one I was probably thinking of: “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

The quote by Fra Angelico (an early Italian Renaissance painter) that is at the top of my blog has had a great impact on me. I have been purposing to pursue calm and peace. And I am purposing to live with Christ. Yes, He is always with me; but I must be continually aware of His presence. I must not take His precious companionship for granted. I must pay attention to Him. Life is so much better when I do.

I hope you enjoy the little art gallery. It is a reflection of my heart and my life.

Painting the Path

This afternoon I worked on my latest oil painting. I started out very stiff and "what do I do here?" Rick was secretly laughing at me (I know he was). Then I declared, "Oh my goodness, just play and have fun with it! The fate of the universe does not rest on how this painting turns out!" After that - bliss! I played with colors and brush strokes and took some risks. I ENJOYED MYSELF! Imagine that! I ended up with a very fun little stone path that I am really tickled with. Here's a picture of it to whet your appetite and make you wonder, "what is she painting?" We'll see if it's still around when the painting is finished....

And another first has been reached. I took the pic with my droid phone and uploaded it directly to Picasa. Ta da! Another step towards geekhood! I needed a positive after my mishap earlier. I received my first comment on my blog. Yay! I received an email about it and told it to "Publish". Alas, the comment never published and is floating somewhere in cyberspace. Poor disembodied little comment. I have tried to recover it, but failed (sigh). I know it's my own fault, because I changed some settings to my blog just after publishing. Another reason I should never multi-task.

Anyway..... I will resurrect the comment here. It was from my precious friend Michelle. She said, "I love your background image! It is really pretty." Yes, she really said that. I am not making it up (Jessey, I know you are thinking that). So, thank you very much Michelle! The image is a detail of a seascape painting that is hanging in my bedroom.

Speaking of Michelle... she is an amazing, gifted, sweet, all-around-wonderful young woman that I met at Empowering Life Church (our home church). She is less than half my age (eek! that makes me feel ancient), yet we have so much in common. She is an inspiration to me and a great blessing to my life.

Wow, I meandered down the stone path and found... Michelle! Cool! And I seem to be on this dot thing tonight...for some...reason. Anyway..... I painted today! I am very content and there is a peace with myself that is luxurious. No wonder why the Lord is always telling me to go paint. He truly knows what is best for me. I'm beginning to understand the whole blogging directive, too. In just two days of blogging, I'm inspired again. The creative process of setting up the blog, looking at my artwork to decide what to include, browsing the blogs of other artists, and writing (a whole creative force in itself) has stirred up the gift that is within me. Thank you, Lord, for getting me back on the path.

Adventures in Blogging & Late Night Giggle Fests

Jessey came to my rescue last night and figured out how to get my painting up as a background behind my blog. Thank you, son! I love having an in-house hacker! I haven't done HTML in years and CSS is a whole new adventure for me; but I'm learning.

Jessey completed my rescue about midnight and as he went back to doing laundry, Quinten came to hang out with me. Let the giggle fest begin! We talked about WOW for awhile (I should say, he talked, I listened). Gradually, everything became hilarious... the cats... downloading a sword app... even the squeak that his chair made. I love those moments.