Notes from the Battlefield

"The Dragonslayer" - conte pencil on black matboard

Several years ago, the Lord gave me a picture of a sculptor working on a marble statue. The sculptor was the Lord and the statue was me. He was breaking off large chunks and letting them fall to the ground. Then I saw myself running around the base of the statue picking up those chunks and crying, “no, Lord, I need this!” He replied, “no, you don’t,” and kept right on working. Wow, at the time, I thought that was painful.

Lately, I have seen myself on a battlefield in the midst of a raging battle. It’s back in the days of swords and armor. I have on the Armor of God and I’m fighting the enemy back with my sword; but I’m getting hacked where the armor doesn’t cover. I am bloodied and my flesh is being stripped. I cry out to God and He says, “you don’t need what’s being stripped away.” The Lord showed me that He’s using the enemy to purify me. God’s Armor covers what really counts and the enemy can’t touch those areas. But this other stuff has to go.

It is not pleasant.

At least I am flesh now and no longer stone.

Two weeks ago, during church service, the Lord gave me further revelation on this battlefield. I have been seeing all the strongholds in my life as separate battles. I’ll be fighting a battle on behalf of my family here, but there’s a battle against depression over there that I need to fight, and there’s that one against fear and insecurity over there. And weight loss – HA – I don’t even have time to fight that one! But the Lord revealed to me that there is only one battle on one field and each stronghold is only one enemy. Before, my picture was of an endless battlefield with scores of enemies for each stronghold. Not so. That was a false image that was deceiving me into feeling overwhelmed. With this new vision, the battlefield is smaller and the enemy’s numbers have dwindled. Yes, they are still on all sides of me; but I can take them all on and have victory. I am not overwhelmed. I am more than a conqueror.

So what if my soul feels like it’s ripped, bloody and bleeding. If my King says I don’t need what I’ve lost, then so be it. He allowed Himself to be ripped up for me. If He endured it in His flesh, I can endure it in my soul. My emotions have been ripped up before and I have always come out stronger on the other side. Stronger in faith and stronger in my devotion to my King.

During church service last Sunday, Pastor Linda was proclaiming that our mountains are cast down and are no more. When she said this, I saw myself on that battlefield again and all those enemies that have been surrounding me fell to the ground as dust. I stood on an empty battlefield. I saw my victory!

The battle has still been raging in my thoughts, but I’m not giving it place. I have seen my victory!

A couple of days ago, something very unimportant and insignificant happened that caused the enemy’s vultures to swoop in on my thoughts and start picking me apart. I said no. Eventually, I yielded up the prideful part that let those dark punks in to begin with. But I did not let them drag me into the pit. I told them “NO”. Victory!

My painting has been another battle. I have not made much progress lately. I keep having to wipe it out or paint over. That happens sometimes…usually when I’m trying too hard. I won’t let it be a big deal. I won’t quit. This painting is a key for me. It’s a breakthrough. It’s my testimony. That’s why there’s a battle. When it’s finished, I’m going to post it and write about it. For His glory, not mine. Before I post that painting, I have to post the little girl and tell her story. I don’t want to and I’ve been dreading it. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you will.) I shouldn’t be dreading it. It’s a story about Jesus and his unfailing love. Yep, that’s it. I choose to look at the story that way. Victory!

"The Dragonslayer" is a blast from my past. I think I did it back in the 80's...maybe early 90's. I wanted a battle picture to go with this post, so I dug it out of hiding. I think it looks very Disney. Sleeping Beauty, maybe. I love to use bright colors on black. I need to do more fun stuff like this and stop being so serious all the time.

Anyway, that’s my blog for today, such as it is. Until next time, I’ll be on the battlefield… cutting off heads and turning the enemy to dust.