Wow! What a weekend it has been!
Theater Therapy
Friday afternoon, our family of four journeyed to Cinemark Tinseltown to experience the much-anticipated new feature, RED. What a hoot! I won’t bother with plot or spoilers (I hate those – spoilers that is), but I will say that if you like action movies, this one is definitely worth seeing. We all laughed and greatly enjoyed it; but I think the two white-haired ladies sitting next to us enjoyed it even more! I am so thankful that we began our weekend with massive doses of laughter. Our sense of humor was stoked and ready for what lay ahead….
The Great Dust Storm of 2010
After the movie, we took Jessey back to TCC to study, returned home and I decided to burn off the half-tub of popcorn I had eaten (I’m serious, really) by doing some yard work. I was sure I could work off at least one kernel while operating the riding mower. But, before I tell you about my strenuous exercise routine of shifting gears, I must back up a bit. The riding mower broke down back in September, about the time of the wrecked car and the air conditioner break down. Of course the mower was last on the list, so by last weekend our weeds were about two feet tall and city code enforcement left a bright yellow tag on our door explaining how it would cost us up to $2000 to keep our lawn at this height. (I suspect that a neighbor complained – I don’t know which one… but I’ll get back to that).
So, last Saturday, Rick borrowed his Dad’s push mower and mowed the yard. He mowed all the front yard, half the back, and then that mower stopped working. Fun! After all that, and fixing the a/c, and dealing with a dozen little car issues, Rick finally found the part he needed to fix our mower and, in the process, put new blades on it. Now, we can return to yesterday, when I decided to mow the yard. The mower started right up and I began to mow the front yard. Rick was in the driveway, working on the car and after my first round, I noticed him waving dust away as I passed, so I went to the other side of the yard to mow. I couldn’t believe how dusty it was! Great clouds of dust were billowing from beneath the mower! Wow, I thought, the yard is really dry! But I kept mowing. At times, I had to stop the mower because I couldn’t see where I was going through the dust. But I kept mowing, not believing how dry the yard was. I was coughing and could barely breathe, but I kept mowing.
Rick came around the house to tell me he was going to the auto parts store and commented on all the dust.
I said, “Yep, the yard is really dry!”
He was in fix-the-car mode, not what’s-wrong-with-this-picture mode, so he left for Autozone…which allowed me to mow next to the driveway. I thought it strange that cars were driving through the dust cloud with their headlights on, but I kept mowing. When I finished the front and side yards, I stopped for a few minutes to put the sprinkler on the front grass… you know, because it was so dry. I noticed that I had turned the color of my garden soil. But, I got back on the mower and mowed the back yard. I watched the dust clouds blow from the back yard across the fence and into the front yard. I was surprised that the sprinkler had no affect whatsoever on the dust. In fact, I couldn’t see the water anymore. At one point I saw the vague shape of a motorcycle and rider cutting through the dust-choked street in front of our house. Poor guy, I thought. But I kept mowing. When I finished mowing, I had to go pick up Jessey, so I washed most of the yard off myself and blew mud out of my nose for about ten minutes.
This morning, as Rick and I made the garage sale rounds, I remarked that those new mower blades were really something to be kicking up so much dust.
“Well, they’re mulching blades,” said Rick.
“Are you sure they’re not plow blades?” I asked.
Then, an idea began to dawn on me.
“Do you think maybe you put the blades on wrong?”
“No,” says Rick, “they spin the same way as the last blades.”
“But, if they’re angled the wrong way, wouldn’t they create a vacuum effect, like a ceiling fan in reverse?”
OK, at this point, I know that the Holy Spirit must be giving me some help, because I would never think of that on my own. Oh, and it only took me about sixteen hours to realize that something might be wrong. My boys keep telling me that I’m not very observant. They may be on to something.
Rick grinned a little and said that he might need to check on those blades.
As we returned home from garage sales this morning, I noticed that all the cars on our street are brown. As I said, I don’t know which neighbor complained about our tall grass, but I think I got my revenge without even trying. Hey, you wanted me to mow – I mowed!!
Garage Sales, Plants & Finicky Pets
There were garage sales everywhere this weekend. Rick and I hit several while Jessey was in school yesterday morning, then set out early today for more. We bought the following: a beautiful wall clock, 5 cobalt glass vases/candle holders/bottles, 1 pink vase, 3 kerosene lamps (2 for the garden, 1 for the kitchen), 4 candle holders for the garden, a little wooden shelf for the kitchen, a tin can, a very cool James-Bond-looking phone, a battery back-up surge protector, a wooden box, a fountain that doesn’t work/but can be fixed, a Max Lucado book and a chair that we don’t have room for. We spent about $30.
When we picked Jessey up from school yesterday, he immediately spotted the cool phone and said, “Is that mine? That looks like mine!”
He settled for the surge protector instead.
This morning, after garage sales, Rick and I went to a plant nursery so that I could get some tulip and hyacinth bulbs. I did not get tulip and hyacinth bulbs. I got cannas and a honeysuckle for 75% off. I also got some pansies and dianthus and an ornamental pepper plant. No bulbs, though. We also got pet food samples. Organic pet food.
The nice lady at the nursery (which is actually an organic plant/pet sort of place) asked us, “Do you have pets?”
We smirk and answer, “two dogs, two cats & a turtle.”
She couldn’t help with the turtle, but she sent us away with 2 sample bags of organic dog food and two of organic cat food. How did our little darlings respond? Shadow, the male dog, inhaled his sample and went after his sister’s. She was taking her time and had to guard her bowl from him with growls and snarls. This is pretty normal behavior for them. The cats, however… Nommy, who will eat most anything, politely sniffed the food, then pretended to bury it and walked away. Mauw, who is extremely picky, watched Nommy’s refusal and decided if Nommy didn’t like it, it must be good. She ate the food. Go figure.
Car Mystery Solved
When we bought Jessey’s Camaro, the “service engine” light was on and the mechanic at the auto dealer suspected the control module to be the villain. Rick, being Rick, wasn’t concerned about that because he could fix it. He could tell during the test drive that the car had lots of power and a good, sound engine. He was impressed with that kind of power from a V-6. (If you don’t understand all of this, don’t feel bad – it took me years to learn car-guy language, but I can translate: we bought a really good car with a slight problem that we needed to repair).
This past week, Rick looked up the codes on the car to discover that it is a Camaro RS (Rally-Sport) and has a high performance package. (Translation: Very cool car, very fast).
Yesterday evening, as I was mowing in the dustbowl, Rick removed the control module (suspected villain) from Jessey’s car, took it to Autozone (car part court) and had it tested (judged). It tested fine (not guilty). This meant that we did not have to fork out $144 for a new one. Yea! But, Rick had to hunt down a new suspect. Boo! As I de-dusted myself, Rick interrogated suspects, accused two out of three coils, removed them from the car and held them over night in the garage pending trial.
This morning, after our garage sale/organic-plant-pet-place adventures, Rick took the coils to Autozone (car part court). I waited in the truck during the trial. The two coils were tested and found guilty and were replaced for $50. Rick then explained to me that the car has only been firing on four out of six cylinders (translation: it has been running at 2/3 full power).
Rick put the new coils in the Camaro and took it out for a spin. He took it out on a secluded back road and opened it up. Here’s Rick’s report: “It white-smoked through first gear, second gear and (insert maniacal grin and laughter here) third gear was time to let up!”
The moral of this story is: Mama is about to become a real prayer warrior now.
Too bad Jessey has had too much homework to go driving. Yes, I’m so sad for him.
Creative Plumbing 101
A few days ago, our bathroom plumbing was stopping up and had to be dealt with. My macho man attacked it with the plunger and a plumbing snake and we thought all was well. Today, just one load of laundry left us with a flooded toilet and standing water in the bathtub and shower. It didn’t take Rick long to figure out that the drain was blocked between our house and the main sewer line. The plumbing snake wasn’t long enough to reach the clog. Renting a longer snake seemed impossible after fifteen minutes on hold with Home Depot. Large bottles of corrosive chemicals did nothing. So, my husband suggests attacking the clog with air pressure. Immediately, my head filled with visions of nasty water exploding out of drains throughout my house. But, Rick and I both knew that this was our last resort before calling a plumber. What can I say? We are, without a doubt, die-hard do-it-yourselfers!
So, we rallied the troops – namely, Quinten and Jessey. Rick broke out the high-powered shop vac and swapped it to “exhaust mode”. He used some old rags to secure the vacuum tube into the clean-out pipe. I will spare you details of the clean-out pipe other than to express my gratitude that it is outside the house. Quinten stood by at the vacuum switch. I plugged the kitchen sink drains securely. Jessey and I plugged the bathtub drain, lay a thickly folded towel over it, and Jessey stood on it. I covered the nearby toilet with an old towel and closed the lid on it. Seeing that Jessey’s station was secure, I moved on to my own station, pausing for a moment to shout out the master bedroom window to Rick that Jessey was ready. After securing the master bath toilet, I lay another thickly folded old towel across the shower drain and I stood on it. I shouted the go ahead and heard the vacuum cleaner roar to life. The sound of massive air bubbles rumbled in the toilet and beneath my feet.
“Flush the toilet!” Rick shouted.
“NO!” I shouted.
“Turn it off!” Rick shouted.
The vacuum went off.
Miraculously, nothing exploded. I actually heard the toilet drain.
“Do it again!” I shouted.
The vacuum roared again.
Bravely, I opened the toilet and flushed it. It drained!
Realizing that Jessey had been silent through this process, I rushed in to check on him. He was fine. Nothing had exploded in there either, even though I had forgotten to plug up the bathroom sink - God is good and His MERCY endures forever!
I flushed the toilet at Jessey’s station. It threatened to run over, but I cut off its water supply immediately. It gave up and drained at the last minute.
Jessey asked, “Can I get out of the bathtub now?”
“Yes.”
Rick shouted, “The clean-out is clear and it’s all draining!”
SUCCESS!!
Finally, the yard is mowed, the plumbing works, the shop vac and all water fixtures in the house have been sterilized, a few towels and a pair of gloves gave themselves up for the cause and have been dispatched to the trash can. Nothing exploded. All is well. We even treated ourselves to Krispy Kreme donuts for dessert after dinner. But, the most wonderful thing of all is how my family managed to laugh our way through a very, very crazy weekend.
By the way, I was too tired to think of a title, so Quinten did it for me.
"Flabbergasting... flaaaabergasting... flaaaaaaaaaabergasting... I don't know why, I just like that word..." says Quinten, "flaaaaaaaaaabergasting... moo."
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