Faith for the Journey

photo by Rick Welch

So, I am home from a wonderful 3 days in Galveston. I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm refreshed and I'm at peace. I learned some interesting things during this trip. #1: 95 SPF spray-on sunscreen is actually clear lacquer that never dries and sticks to everything! #2: It is worth getting up at 5am to go on a sunrise photo shoot with my husband. #3: All it takes to make Quinten happy is a new hat. #4: Jessey loves the smell of the sea. #5: I can hear the Lord's voice so much clearer when I am out from under the pressures of daily life. #6: Journeys are best taken by faith.

Last Sunday, I had vacation on my mind. With it being Father's Day, I began remembering vacations that I took as a child.  My earliest memory of a family trip was to Yellowstone Park. I had no idea where Yellowstone Park was, how long it would take to get there or how much money it would cost to go. I didn't need to know these things because Daddy knew. All I had to do was get in the car. Daddy knew exactly where we were going, how to get there, how long it would take and he paid for it all. I trusted him completely with all the details. I just followed along, did what I was told and enjoyed the journey.

When I was a teenager, my family took a trip to Colorado right after Christmas. By then, I could read a map and I wanted to know where we were going and how we would get there. Dad answered all my questions. I knew there would be snow and we would be traveling through Wolf Creek Pass. I knew that could be risky, but I also knew that my Dad was watching the weather very closely and using wisdom during the journey. I trusted him to keep us safe. Sure enough, when the locals said that a big storm was headed in and the pass would likely be closed, Dad headed us home.

It amazed me to remember the faith that I had when I was younger. Somewhere along the way of growing up, I took on all the responsibilities of my life and assumed control. I became the adult who had to have all the answers. How often I forget that I have a Heavenly Father who has the journey of my life planned. He has promised to light my path, lead me, supply my needs, give me wisdom and protect me from danger. I just have to trust Him and allow Him to do those things for me.

As my guys and I prepared for our recent vacation, I noticed that Jessey and Quinten did not ask many questions. They never looked at a map. They never asked what anything cost. They trusted that Rick and I would take care of all the details. As we began our journey, I purposed in my heart to trust my Father. During the trip, whenever stress or worry tried to come, I would turn my thoughts to Him and hear His comforting voice.

"Lord, what if we have a car accident?"
"I will protect you"

"Lord, Rick's going out too far in the water...what if...?"
"He will be fine. I am with him."

The Lord was with us during the entire vacation. His peace and comfort were nearer than my own breath. I relaxed and rested in Him. I looked out across the ocean and knew that He loves me. Rick marveled at how that vast amount of water comes so far, then stops. If God can govern the oceans, the tides, and the orbits of all the planets, surely He can handle my life.

I now see my life as a journey that I don't have to fret over. The Lord is with me. Yes, there are things that I must do to keep my life on His path; but He orders my steps. I am going to trust Him to lead me and guide me every step of the way. He can lead and guide my sons and my husband too. It's not my job. Yes, I can offer wisdom and guidance; but I don't have to be in control. How wonderful.

Art Gallery

Since I began this blog, I have wanted to add a little slideshow art gallery. Well, I finally did. I borrowed my wonderful husband's camera (without asking, then I forgot to turn it off... I'm so glad he loves me and forgives these things) and took some photos. They are not full works, but details of some of my favorite paintings (and one pen & ink drawing). All but one of these are hanging in our home. Some day I'll get my sweetheart to take good digital photos of all my artwork and scan the slides of the work that I no longer have.

It's amazing how I live with these paintings and walk past them daily; but when I place them in a new setting like the slideshow I gain a new appreciation for them. It just goes to show how we can so easily take precious things for granted and need to wake ourselves up every now and again. Not that my paintings are that precious in general, but they are to me and my family. I see them as a testimony of God's love for me. I am very grateful for His gifts.

My new painting is coming along well. I've made quite a bit of progress in the last week or so. It has reached the point where I know that it will work. The underpainting is complete, all the elements are in place and I know where to go from here. I'm sure it still has a few surprises for me. I think that might be fun. It used to terrify me. I am beginning to realize that I don't control the painting and make it what I want it to be. I find the painting. It seems that Michelangelo said something similar about sculpting. He found the sculpture in the rock. OK, I will have to look that up now to learn what he actually said.... Actually I found several quotes on the subject, but here is the one I was probably thinking of: “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

The quote by Fra Angelico (an early Italian Renaissance painter) that is at the top of my blog has had a great impact on me. I have been purposing to pursue calm and peace. And I am purposing to live with Christ. Yes, He is always with me; but I must be continually aware of His presence. I must not take His precious companionship for granted. I must pay attention to Him. Life is so much better when I do.

I hope you enjoy the little art gallery. It is a reflection of my heart and my life.

Simplicity

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. -
Matthew 11:28

That is such a simple statement. Last night, I had the honor of hearing Bishop Otis Clark, 107 years old, preach that simple message. He spoke it in such faith. I was swept away by the simplicity of the gospel that he preached. God is love, the law brings bondage, Jesus gives us rest and freedom, faith pleases God, and the devil can go to hell.

Why do we make it all so difficult? The gospel is truly simple. It’s always been that simplicity that has had the greatest impact on me. As a child, I sang “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so,” and believed it with all my heart. I have always believed it. Around that same time, my sister Debbie told me that I did not have to be afraid of the dark because Jesus was always with me. I believed that, too. I was still afraid of the dark, but I could bear it because I knew that the Jesus who loved me was with me in that dark. He became my Savior. I accepted His love and constant companionship with the faith of a child and those two truths became the foundation for my life. There were times that those two things were all I knew, all I had, all I could count on. It was enough. I am alive today because of those two simple truths. In the darkest dark, when I was on the very brink of taking my own life, His presence and His love stopped me. He saved me. He is so wonderful.

Years later, my husband, sons and I walked into our first church service together. Rick and I were world-weary and worn out. A very precious man preached about God’s love and how He would never leave us nor forsake us. I remember how my heart leaped when I heard what I knew to be true. The pastor had my attention. Then he talked about Jesus giving us rest and peace. What? Rest and peace? No one ever told me I could have that. Rest and peace were the very things that I so desperately needed and desired. How simple – rest and peace come from Jesus. The simplicity of that message captured my heart. Ever since that day, I have purposed to follow the Lord and learn His Word.

Think about the simplicity of His Word:

Fear not. Believe only.

Abide in Me.

Peace I leave with you.

Ask and it shall be given unto you.

Repent.

God is love.

Love God.

Love one another.

Love never fails.

These things are only hard because we make them so. We want to have our cake and eat it too. We want the things of God. We desire His blessings and His favor. But we want to do things our own way, too. We bargain. We try to hold on to the things that displease God and balance it with good works or good intentions. This is what makes it so hard. But, when we are faced with the gospel in its simplest, purest form, and we receive it with the faith of a child, clarity comes. Rest and peace come. We are filled with His love and enfolded by His presence.

The simplicity of the gospel came to Empowering Life Church last night. It was followed by an atmosphere of love, unity, peace and power. We were changed. The Lord showed me amazing things. I can’t even think about it without tears. He is coming. He is bringing His Glory into the earth in a greater measure than ever before in order to adorn His bride. Then, He is coming to take her home. Church, we must prepare ourselves for His adornment, His Glory. What does a bride do before she dresses for her wedding? She bathes. She cleanses herself. She prepares herself for her bridegroom. Our bridegroom loves us so completely and so desperately. His Glory is prepared. It is ready and He is waiting to clothe us in it. Why would we keep Him waiting?

Well, what do you expect?

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. - Psalm 62:5

Do you ever find yourself frustrated with the people in your life? I know I do. I am finding that these frustrations are a stumbling block to me. How can I love my neighbor if I am frustrated with him? After all, the very first characteristic of love that is listed in 1 Corinthians 13 is patience. Oh dear! Frustration and patience mix about as well as oil and water!

So, I began seeking the Lord on how to deal with these frustrations. My first reaction, naturally, was “Lord, I'm frustrated with so-and-so. Please deal with them!” Well, that never works. Whenever I ask the Lord to deal with someone else, He shines His spotlight on ME. In this particular case, the Lord led me to examine my expectations of the other person. I realized that my frustration was rooted in unfulfilled expectations. The carnal response to this revelation would be to ask, “how do I get the person to do what I want?” But, that is an attitude of manipulation and control that a Christian should avoid. Instead, I examined my expectations and asked myself if they were realistic. Ultimately, I adjusted my own expectations. Problem resolved. No more frustration. (I made that sound so simple, but it involved swallowing large chunks of pride and there was weeping.)

As I dug more deeply into the effect of expectations on relationships, the Lord revealed an interesting insight. The Hebrew word for expectation is tiqvah, and according to Strong’s Concordance, it literally means a cord or attachment. This gave me a visual image of myself attaching a rope to someone and trying to pull something out of them. Then, I imagined what it must be like to be on the other end of that rope. Expectations are always two-sided: the one doing the pulling, and the one being pulled. Frustration can occur on either end. If I am trying to pull something from someone that they don’t have or are not able or willing to produce, I will be frustrated and the person being pulled will be frustrated as well. What is the natural response to being pulled against your will? You pull back! The whole situation creates stress and tension between the two people.

So, how do we stop the tug-of-war? Stop pulling. Love does not seek its own way, but prefers the other (1 Cor. 13:5). We must examine and adjust what we expect from other people. Are we expecting them to meet our needs, rather than looking to our Father or taking care of ourselves? Too often, Christians want a quick fix. They expect their pastor or an elder to spoon-feed them the Word instead of studying it on their own. They expect someone to loan (or give) them money for a quick bailout instead of allowing the Lord to bless the work of their hands. There are many situations where we set our expectation bar too high. Parents, are you expecting your children to behave perfectly at all times? Spouses, are you expecting your mate to read your mind and always see things your way? Do we expect people to put their own lives and callings on hold to help us promote our “latest thing”? We must continually examine our motives and take our relationships and expectations before the Lord, so that He can purify them. Our greatest expectations should be on the Lord, rather than on one another. Expectations of others should be Word-based, rooted in love and should be communicated very clearly. And, we must learn to extend grace and mercy if those expectations are not met.

After gaining revelation of myself as the puller, I began to realize just how much I have been pulled… in several directions… by many people. It’s my own fault. I have lived most of my life as a people pleaser, always wanting to make everyone else happy, even to the point of my own deterioration. I have set myself up to fail. I convince myself there are expectations of me that don’t even exist. No one puts more expectations on me than myself. I am learning to recognize when I am being pulled. The next step after recognizing the pull is to take these things to the Lord and ask for His wisdom. How do I know which expectations to fill? They will line up with my Father’s Word and His plan for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that God has expectations for my life. Those are the ones I should be fulfilling. If a person’s expectation of me lines up with my Father’s, then I can say yes. I am finding that when I say yes to those, I am fulfilled and energized with a sense of accomplishment rather than feeling drained. I spent most of my life thinking that if I’m not always there for everyone all the time, then I was a bad Christian. Now I am learning to say "no" to people, gracefully and in love. Doing so does not make me a bad Christian. On the contrary, it helps me to weed dead works from my life and focus on the areas that are bearing fruit. My goal is not to be busy, but to be productive.

My search has brought me to the following conclusions: Why would we seek to fill the expectations of man, when we are instructed to seek first the Kingdom of God? Why would we expect man to meet our needs, when our Father has already promised to do so? We can always trust that when we place our expectations on Him, He will never let us down. He exceeds our greatest hopes.

No More Lying Sticky Notes!

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. – Romans 12:2

I believe one of the biggest hindrances we face as Christians is that our self-image does not agree with our Father’s image of us as written in His Word. I have spent the past several years gradually working to replace my own self-image with the truth. It has been a battle, especially lately. The Lord has been trying to get a new concept across to me and I just haven’t been getting it. The concept is this: there is no {insert negative here}. The Word tells us that there is no fear in love… (John 4:18) and there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus… (Romans 8:1). When we are in Christ, in love, things like fear and condemnation do not exist for us, unless we allow them to. OK, this has been a tough one for me to wrap my little mind around. But, yesterday, the Lord gave me a revelation that I believe will be a new weapon.

I woke up meditating on this concept again yesterday. Then I went to church and listened to Pastor Linda’s sermon on the benefits of our battle. As she was preaching, I began to see a visual that helped me to better understand this concept.

I saw myself covered with dull, yellow sticky notes that said things like “not good enough,” “afraid,” “rejected,” “chronic depressive” and so forth. All of these sticky notes were negative things that I had been labeled with throughout my life. Then I began to see how they got there. I saw someone come up to me and make a negative remark and shove a sticky note toward me. Their remark was written on the note. I simply took the note from them and stuck it on myself. I began to realize that throughout my life, I had taken these sticky notes from all kinds of influences – family, friends, teachers, books, doctors, television, and the nonsense that the enemy has put directly in my own thoughts.

Then came the real revelation. These influences could not put the sticky notes on me. That was impossible. The notes were not real until I accepted them. I had to take the note from them and put it on myself. I had to receive it. So, what would happen if I didn’t take it from them? With my spiritual eyes I could see people all around me, waving these notes at me and expecting me to take them. I refused. Then I saw myself open my Bible and read. Doing so caused all those influences to fade away. As I read, I would pull off an old yellow sticky note and take a bright blue one from my Bible and place it on myself.

I know that replacing all the old yellow notes with new blue ones is a process. But, I can start by not receiving any new yellow ones. I have a divine right to say no to any influence that disagrees with the Word of God, no matter the source. I am purposing in my heart to be even more watchful about those things that are spoken to me, things that I read, things that I see and the thoughts in my mind. I intend to be quick to discern and turn down any label that does not agree with the Word. This revelation has given new meaning to 2Corinthians 10:5…

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

The Word

(Very busy day today, so here is something from back in 2002...)

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. – John 1:1 (KJV)
All scripture is given by inspiration of God… - 2 Timothy 3:16 (NKJV)

Reading God’s Word is such a privilege and a pleasure to me. The Bible is an amazing creation! Having survived countless ages and languages, it has influenced more people than any other writing in history. I see it not just as a historical document, but also as a legal document that describes our covenant with Almighty God. It is not just great literature, but also a personal love letter from a Father to His beloved children.

The Word of God is a spectacular tapestry that stretches from eternity to eternity. Word by word, stitch by stitch, written and woven by God through the hands of mighty men of faith. Vibrant with patterns and colors that shift and return with divine precision. From prophets to kings. From bondage to freedom. From sacrificial red to purification white. It is a living presence that dwells before our eyes, in our minds and within our spirits.

Praise be to God for His wondrous Word! Through His Word we receive encouragement, instruction, comfort, guidance, joy and peace. It brings strength to the weary and hope to the desperate. The Word is the eternal embodiment of His everlasting Love.

Father, I pray for wisdom and revelation as I read Your Word. Open the eyes of my understanding so that I may know You more intimately.

Painting the Path

This afternoon I worked on my latest oil painting. I started out very stiff and "what do I do here?" Rick was secretly laughing at me (I know he was). Then I declared, "Oh my goodness, just play and have fun with it! The fate of the universe does not rest on how this painting turns out!" After that - bliss! I played with colors and brush strokes and took some risks. I ENJOYED MYSELF! Imagine that! I ended up with a very fun little stone path that I am really tickled with. Here's a picture of it to whet your appetite and make you wonder, "what is she painting?" We'll see if it's still around when the painting is finished....

And another first has been reached. I took the pic with my droid phone and uploaded it directly to Picasa. Ta da! Another step towards geekhood! I needed a positive after my mishap earlier. I received my first comment on my blog. Yay! I received an email about it and told it to "Publish". Alas, the comment never published and is floating somewhere in cyberspace. Poor disembodied little comment. I have tried to recover it, but failed (sigh). I know it's my own fault, because I changed some settings to my blog just after publishing. Another reason I should never multi-task.

Anyway..... I will resurrect the comment here. It was from my precious friend Michelle. She said, "I love your background image! It is really pretty." Yes, she really said that. I am not making it up (Jessey, I know you are thinking that). So, thank you very much Michelle! The image is a detail of a seascape painting that is hanging in my bedroom.

Speaking of Michelle... she is an amazing, gifted, sweet, all-around-wonderful young woman that I met at Empowering Life Church (our home church). She is less than half my age (eek! that makes me feel ancient), yet we have so much in common. She is an inspiration to me and a great blessing to my life.

Wow, I meandered down the stone path and found... Michelle! Cool! And I seem to be on this dot thing tonight...for some...reason. Anyway..... I painted today! I am very content and there is a peace with myself that is luxurious. No wonder why the Lord is always telling me to go paint. He truly knows what is best for me. I'm beginning to understand the whole blogging directive, too. In just two days of blogging, I'm inspired again. The creative process of setting up the blog, looking at my artwork to decide what to include, browsing the blogs of other artists, and writing (a whole creative force in itself) has stirred up the gift that is within me. Thank you, Lord, for getting me back on the path.

Adventures in Blogging & Late Night Giggle Fests

Jessey came to my rescue last night and figured out how to get my painting up as a background behind my blog. Thank you, son! I love having an in-house hacker! I haven't done HTML in years and CSS is a whole new adventure for me; but I'm learning.

Jessey completed my rescue about midnight and as he went back to doing laundry, Quinten came to hang out with me. Let the giggle fest begin! We talked about WOW for awhile (I should say, he talked, I listened). Gradually, everything became hilarious... the cats... downloading a sword app... even the squeak that his chair made. I love those moments.

Out From Under the Bushel

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
- Matthew 5:14-16



I am a blessed woman. The Lord has blessed me with many gifts. Some I discovered at an early age and have had the opportunity to develop. Others I have only recently discovered and I’m still very much in the learning stages. For years, I’ve been keeping most of these gifts to myself and my family. But, the Lord has been dealing with me. Don’t you love when He does that? He did not give me gifts to keep to myself, but to share with others so that He may be glorified. So, here I am, being obedient to the Lord and letting my light shine for whomever may be looking. I am just a vessel… an old, dusty window through which His light is shining. All of the glory goes to my beloved Father. I am humbled and grateful that He would give me such wonderful gifts with which to play.
(Image info: detail of oil on canvas "Little Girl Lost")