Download

I love it when God gives me a download. It’s a beautiful thing – a powerful visual image combined with crystal clear understanding and the scriptures to back it up. Rare, but beautiful.

I received just such a download last Sunday. It came during worship, during the chorus of a song. I don’t even remember the song and it doesn’t even matter. The download came full and vivid and complete – a seamless flow of my Father’s loving grace. I was exhausted to my core. The download didn’t immediately fix that. I still went home and curled up in bed with a good book. What the download did was strengthen me. It reminded me of what He has done so that I may enter into God’s rest - that true deep rest that refreshes and revives. He knew that I needed it. He knew what was coming this week. Hard things. Heart-breaking things.

So, here’s the download:

Fighting battles wears you out.

I saw a warrior walking through the midst of a raging battle. All around, fire light flashed off of armor and swords. Clashing metal rang out amidst shouts and screams. Chaos surrounded the warrior on every side, but she walked amidst stillness. The battle parted before her and enemies fell to each side, leaving a wide berth as she passed through. She wasn’t bloodied or beleaguered. She was pristine. Untouched. Most importantly, she walked in victory. The battle still raged about her, but she walked through it knowing – KNOWING – KNOWING – that the battle was already won!

As I saw this vision, these words sprang from my heart: A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

The fullness of Psalms 91 swept over me. Because He is my refuge, no evil shall befall me. His angels have been given charge over me.

Then came Exodus 14:14, The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. Or, as my favorite translation goes: GOD BATTLES! Shh!

I felt myself reaching out to God, wondering if it could really be that simple, and He answered me. My Father knows me so well, that He knows exactly what to show me. Jesus. For me, Jesus is always the last Word. I saw Jesus walking on the water, unmoved by the raging wind around Him. 

Later, I looked up the story in Mark 6:

And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land. And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them. But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out: For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, “Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.”  And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.

Notice two things here:

1. When the disciples were alone they were rowing against the wind, toiling and laboring and wearing themselves out; but when Jesus joined them, the wind ceased.
2. Jesus would have passed by them, except that they cried out. When they did that, he spoke peace and comfort to them and joined them. 

This tells me that when I find myself toiling and wearing myself out, I need to cry out to Jesus! He will give me rest.

I find that my Father brings me back to this again and again. I have tasted the rest of God. I have experienced periods of it and I know the peace that is found in having faith in Him. Still, my focus wanders and my Lord lovingly reminds me to return to Him and rest in Him. That doesn’t mean to just sit around doing nothing expecting God to subsidize my laziness. No! That means to live and work and serve and do what I can, while trusting Him to do what I cannot. 

There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. ~ Hebrews 4:9-11

***

Father, I trust You right now to make all the crooked places straight, to heal broken hearts, and mend broken lives. I trust You to handle all the things that are too big and too difficult for me to even comprehend. I stand before You, a worn-out cranky child, reaching up my arms for You to lift me up, embrace me, and comfort me. But mostly, Father, I ask You to lift up the ones that can’t reach up to You right now. Please, lift them up, hold them, comfort them, and lavish them with Your love.

To Be One With The Air

"Wings of Eagles" - pencil sketch

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31

Have you ever watched a bird catch an updraft? Rick saw one the other day and told me how the bird was just flying along, then it turned into the wind, leaned its wings back and whoosh - it went straight up. Amazing! As Rick spoke, I imagined what it would be like. So, here I am writing where that little thought took me.

Imagine the intimate relationship that a bird must have with the air. The bird in flight is completely dependent upon or subject to air currents, wind speed, updrafts, and all things air. Imagine being suspended in the wind, far above the ground, surrounded by nothing but air. Upheld by nothing but air. Birds must be aware of every fluctuation in pressure, direction, and speed. They know how to use it to their advantage. For years, I have watched birds gather in trees, on high wires, and on the ground just before a cold front or a storm arrives. They do so because the air pressure is so low, that flying is too difficult and exhausts them. They know days in advance of the storm's arrival. If you watch the birds closely enough you can predict the weather. They live in the weather, so they know. They also know how to conserve energy by riding air currents. I guess you could say that they rest in the air. If they need to move higher, they just catch a current and let it lift them.

Do you get the picture? Can you see how intimately connected the birds are with the air? Then, let's make some connections.

Point 1: The birds live, move, and have their very being in the air. They are intimate with it.

Point 2: Acts 17:28 says, "For in Him we live and move and have our being..."

Point 3: In the New Testament, the word Spirit (as in Holy Spirit) is translated from the Greek word pneuma, meaning "a current of air, a breath (blast), or a breeze."*

Now, imagine what it might be like to be as intimate with the Holy Spirit as a bird is with the air. I think that was God's plan for sending Him to us. Jesus said, "Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you." (John 16:7) He knew that we needed the Holy Spirit in order to have this intimate relationship.

Maybe you're thinking it's harder for us, because we don't live with Him the way the birds live with the air. To that I say, it's our choice whether we do or don't. A bird can choose to hop around on the ground its whole life, but that leaves it vulnerable and weak. Perhaps it's scary for them to take to the air the first time. They only learn to fly by flying - in the air. We are meant to live in Him. We are meant to know in advance of a storm's arrival. We are meant to rest in Him. We are meant to be lifted higher by Him. We are meant to live and move and have our being in Him.

So, how do we do that? I believe that the key is to be continually mindful of Him. Scripture study, prayer, praise, and worship are part of that, but not all. Be thankful for what He has blessed you with. Learn to keep Him in your thoughts throughout your daily activities. If you have a problem, ask for His wisdom. Talk to Him about your work, your family, and your life. Think of Him as someone right next to you throughout your day. You will be amazed. The Bible tells us that the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to a friend (Ex. 33:11). That is the intimacy of which I speak.

Finally, one more tidbit before I go. A word study of Isaiah 40:31 revealed that the Hebrew root of the phrase "wait upon" means "to bind or twist together."* That sounds very intimate to me.

But they who are bound together with the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

Remember, you can only learn to fly by flying.

***

Lord, I hunger for intimacy with you. Please, teach me to fly in Your Spirit.

***

* Definitions are from Strong's Hebrew and Greek Dictionaries.

Just Bein' a Bear...

"Surly Bear" - ink sketch

I woke up today feeling like Surly Bear. Tired, achy, and grumpy. As the day progressed, Snarly Bear even made a few appearances. I imagine this is what a bear feels like when her hibernation is interrupted. I know why I'm this way. I've been pushing too hard. I've been too busy for too long. I need to hibernate.

When I was a teenager, my uncle Jim nicknamed me "Bear," because I spent so much time in my bedroom. He said I was hibernating. In a way, I guess I was. I'd hibernate for awhile everyday after school. I needed that quiet time to unwind after eight hours of people, voices, noise, crowded hallways, concentration, learning, and praying that I didn't have to talk to anybody but my closest friends. I'm so thankful that Mom understood and allowed me that time as much as possible. Now, as an adult, it seems that there is always something needing to be done or someone needing my attention. I literally forget to hibernate. It's silly, I know. Like forgetting to eat, which I do far too often. It's a good thing that breathing is involuntary, or I'd get too busy for that.

Why is hibernation so necessary for me? Because I'm an introvert. I've known this since a very young age, yet back then the word introvert was synonymous with words like shy, withdrawn, and anti-social. It was thought that introverts just weren't comfortable around people. Made sense to me. I wasn't comfortable around people. I just never understood why. Today, there is a better understanding of introversion and extroversion. They both have to do with energy. Extroverts are energized by being around other people. Introverts, however, are drained by social situations. Instead, we draw energy from solitude. At least, that's the short, simplified explanation. There are lots of better explanations available, so I'll leave it at that. If you're hungry for more, I recommend Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. It helped me. A lot.

So, I've accepted that I'm a Bear, and as such I need to hibernate at times. If I don't, then I have to contend with Surly Bear, who's irritable and moody, or Snarly Bear, who snaps at the people she loves. There's also Edgy Bear, who's a pain because she can't be still and frets about every little thing. Those three bears are bad enough, but if not dealt with, they tend to transform into Dreary Bear that just sits like a lump and sees only bad things. Let's not even speak of the dreaded Raging Grizzly-Witchy Bear. It's always best to hibernate long before she gets loose.

Thankfully, in my home the phrase, "I need to introvert," is spoken and understood. I live with two more introverts and an extrovert with anti-social tendencies. We understand the need to hibernate. My challenge is that I allow other things to seem more important. I allow time to slip through my fingers in the name of busy. I am working to change that. Right now. This is hibernation. Even if it's only for a few hours or a few minutes. 

I believe that God intentionally created me to be an introvert. He knew who I would be and how I would need to be it. So, wisdom tells me to accept what I need and make room for it in my life. I need quiet time in which to unwind, think, create, pray, and simply BE. I need to absorb nature - feel the wind, listen to the birds, smell the flowers, and warm in the sun. I need to get lost in a story, whether it's a book, a movie, or something I'm writing or daydreaming. I need to immerse myself in an art project and contemplate the mystical-magical interaction of light and color. I need to draw a line to see where it takes me. I need to get comfortable, take a deep breath, exhale, and truly relax. I need to have a deep heart-to-heart with my Father Creator, not just prayer-on-the-fly. I need to BE. And when I do such things, I get to be Cozy Bear, who is relaxed, content, and at peace. 

***

Lord, thank you for making me who I am. Please teach me how to be the me You see.

Be Still and Know...

"Be still, and know that I am God!" ~ Psalm 46:10

I began an art journal in January of this year, and this was one of my first entries. I spent a good deal of time on it, both drawing it and researching for it. It began with just the scripture and the girl on the Rock. That was my original inspiration, and I sketched it out fairly quickly and inked it. Just a little drawing floating in the midst of the page. The more I meditated on that one scripture, the more I saw on that page. For me, scripture meditation usually includes looking up words to get deeper meaning. So I decided to include two definitions and some synonyms - you can see them in the waves.

• Stillness: a state of freedom from storm or disturbance; peace, tranquility, hush, calmness, rest, shh.
• Knowledge: awareness or familiarity gained by experience; realization, understanding, comprehension, wisdom, perceive, grasp, discern.

The drawing came together piece by piece. Part of Psalm 91 is written in the rain. The clouds are filled with scriptures of the Lord's victory. His names form the Rock on which I rest.

I was in the midst of some storms when I drew this. Two beloved family members were in the hospital. Outcomes were uncertain. I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and in physical pain. The Lord used this drawing to hold me together and keep my focus on Him. Today, both family members are well. God knew. I didn't. So He had me write victory in the clouds and security in the rain, even when I couldn't see it around me. Isn't He wonderful?

Psalm 46:10 is one of my favorite scriptures. This is the message I receive from the Lord more than any other. So many times, when I pray for an answer or direction, I hear that still, small voice say, "be still, and know that I am God." He reminds me that He is in control and I'm not. My part is to be at peace and trust Him. Trusting Him gets easier all the time, as I gain experience with Him in my life. I see His goodness, His grace, and His love. It's comforting to trust someone that you know loves you absolutely and completely. No matter what. I still struggle with the peace part, but I'm learning. I still get depressed, overwhelmed, angry, and frustrated. I still have panic attacks. However, the wonderful difference is that these things don't move me the way they once did. It is such a victory for me to say that! I may forget at times, lift my head and consider the storm around me; but I don't move off the Rock! I remember His promises.

A church elder once commented that she was afraid I would lose ground if I stepped down from a leadership position in the church. At the time, I was frightened of that too. In fact, all the years I went to church regularly, I was afraid that if I ever stopped going, I would lose the spiritual ground I had gained. I've been out of church for a few years now and that fear is gone. I believe it's been a season just as important as the season I spent in church. I'll admit that I've lost some things. I've lost some Pharisee-like thinking and attitude. I've lost some legalistic, unlovely doctrines that are not supported by scripture, no matter how often they continue to be preached. Goodbye and good riddance. What I haven't lost is my faith, my love of God, my trust in Him. I haven't lost spiritual ground. How could I lose these things when I wholeheartedly believe that He, the Author and Finisher of my faith, keeps them for me, holding them tightly in the nail holes of His hands.

***

Lord, thank you for teaching me to be still and know....

The Crepe Myrtles are Saying It's Fall

Fall is my favorite season! Every year, I spend August's sweltering days anticipating the cool of autumn. When September arrives, I begin watching the trees. While driving, I've noticed that certain trees are shifting to yellow as if sighing that they are just too hot and tired to maintain their summer green. In my own yard, I heed the crepe myrtles - my watchers on the wall, ready to signal the change to come. Yellow-tinged leaf tips whisper secrets of shorter days and cool breezes. Each day, golden hues seep further along and spread the word. Finally, the leaf blushes, sounding the red alert before it fades into brown and falls silently to the path below.

Fascinated by this ritual, I plucked a few leaves and brought them into the studio to sketch. A younger me might have stood on the rocky garden path, balancing a sketchbook, drawing pencil, kneaded eraser, and a dozen or so coloring pencils as I drew them still on the tree. The older and wiser me preferred my comfy chair and air conditioning, only to face the frustrating task of preventing Kitty Mau from tasting, caressing, and stealing the leaves! Upon realizing the battle was futile, I went to fetch leaves just for her. She rubbed them, licked them, and promptly batted them off the table and onto the floor. She liked my leaves better. So much for wisdom on my part. I resorted to placing the canned air, her mortal enemy, next to the leaves. Truce achieved. 

Colored pencils are a new medium to me. I purchased a set of Prismacolor Verithins recently and have enjoyed playing with them. They are very different from chalk, conte, or oil pastels - all of which are old friends of mine. I need to study a few pencil techniques and practice. Overall, I'm fairly pleased with the drawing. I love the different stages of the color shifts in the leaves. I couldn't do it justice. Still, it's wonderful to be making art again - doing it just for the pure joy of bringing something from nothing. No pressure, no deadlines, no expectations. Simply bliss.

On another note, you may have noticed that my blog got a makeover. I've been wanting to come back to it with a fresh start, so voilà! The cloudy background is a digital painting on a canvas texture. A bit of a rushed job, not wanting to wait for paint to dry, but I think it's rather fun.

So, I rejoice in the new season, comforted by the surety of its coming. 

While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. ~ Gen 8:22


Lord, I thank you for autumn, the time of harvest, and for mild weather to relish before the biting winter comes. Thank you for establishing the routine and rotation of seasons as a continual reminder of your steadfastness and eternal stewardship over the earth. I praise you in every season and revel in your unending love!

New Mercies

It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  ~ Lamentations 3:22-23

2014 was a brutal year. It was a year of dismay, grief, pain, and life-altering changes. Yes, there were snippets of joy, victory, and laughter throughout; but it left me with an overall sense of gloom. The last week of December found me stunned, heartbroken, and barely able to function. 

I spent much of this year's first weekend wrapped in a blanket in a dark, quiet room. No television. Just quiet. I read and slept and pondered the above scripture. I kept thinking New Year - New Mercies. It seems to me that if the Lord's mercies and compassions are new every morning, then how fresh they must be in the dawn of a new year! The thought gave me hope. 

By the grace of His mercy and His great love, I can move forward leaning on His eternal strength. I can face the trials ahead with the knowledge that He supplies all my needs - strength, wisdom, peace, patience, joy, faith, and hope. I don't have to manufacture them on my own. I simply ask, and thus I am able to draw them up from the deep well of His abundance:

His strength is made perfect in my weakness. 

His wisdom is freely given. 

His peace has already been given to me. 

Patience has her perfect work.

In His presence is fullness of joy.  

He is the author and the finisher of my faith. 

My hope is in Him.

Thank you, Lord, for a new year, new mercies, and Your unfailing compassions.

Photo credit - © 2014 Rick Welch 

Find-No-Fault Friday

The Daily Kindness Challenge

Therefore be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you shall be forgiven.

~ Luke 6:36-37

Ready for the weekend? Let's celebrate the end of the workweek by giving everybody a great big break today! No complaining about people, no talking bad about people, no judging people, and no condemning people.

Wow! That's asking a lot for a Friday. Let's face it - we all have people who get on our last nerve. And we love to vent about it! It feels so good to just get it all out in a good gripe. But, I read somewhere recently that venting is not as great as we've all thought. It tends to stir us up more than calm us down. I've been paying attention since I read that, and I suspect there may be some wisdom to it. Complaining about a person certainly affects our overall attitude toward them, as does listening to someone else complain about them. If we stopped looking for and talking about people's faults, would we be kinder to them? To others? To ourselves?

Want a real challenge? Give yourself a break today! Stop judging yourself so harshly. God loves you! Surely, He's not wrong about what a great person you are. ;)  Be kind to yourself today by not knocking yourself down. Focus on your strengths.

Today, our goal is to overlook faults and keep a positive attitude toward others and ourselves. Yesterday, we practiced thinking well of people. Today we are ignoring the not-so-good, and actively looking for the good. When you're tempted to complain, praise instead. Find something good to say. End the week on a positive note. It's okay to be happy.

Have a kind day!

Lord, thank you for your great mercy! Thank you for forgiving my sins. Please help me to overlook faults in others and in myself. Help me to complain less and stop judging others critically. Help me to see the good in others and in myself. I pray this for the people taking this challenge, too. Help them to see past faults and find good. Help us all to be kind. Amen.

Thoughtful Thursday

The Daily Kindness Challenge

Charity (love) has patience, is kind; charity (love) is not envious, is not vain, is not puffed up; does not behave indecently, does not seek her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil. 
~ 1Corinthians 13:4-5

Finally, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think on these things. 
~ Philippians 4:8

Thoughtful Thursday has two goals. The first is obvious - to be considerate of other people's needs. The second goal follows the above scriptures by examining your own thoughts and keeping them positive. Be considerate of others and think well of them.

I often use 1 Corinthians 13 as my measuring stick. If I love someone, am I being kind to them? Am I being patient with them? Do I think well of them? When I ask myself these questions, I always see failures. I know I'll never be perfect at it, but I can at least do better.

Today, I strive to see people through God's eyes and think the best about them. Yes, there are times when we need to protect ourselves by recognizing when a person has less than well-meaning motives. That's certainly understandable. But, in our daily lives, most of the people we encounter are not "out to get us." They are struggling along, just as we are, making a living, looking for happiness, and trying to have a decent day. So, I will purpose to think the best of people today, and in so doing, to be kind and considerate toward them. I will look to their needs and offer a kind word where I can. Those are today's goals.

Have a kind day!

Lord, thank you for Your loving kindness toward me. Thank you for seeing past my sinful behaviors and loving me for who I truly am. Please help me to do the same for others. Help me to look past what people do and see who they really are. Help me to think well of others and to be kind and considerate. Please help all the people taking this challenge today by directing their thoughts and actions toward kindness. Amen.

Wonderful-Works Wednesday

The Daily Kindness Challenge

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in Heaven. 
~ Matthew 5:16

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. 
~ Luke 6:27-28

Wednesday is good deeds day! Put kindness to work and do something wonderful for someone today - a loved one, a co-worker, a stranger. You can even do something nice for yourself! When's the last time you did that? If you're one of those amazing people that gives until you're empty and keeps going another hundred miles, then you deserve a treat once in a while. It's called self-care and it's an important part of mental and physical health. It helps you to be a well-balanced, kinder person.

Stumped on what to do? Here are a few ideas:

• Take a co-worker out to lunch.
• Give a homeless person a gift card.
• Pay for the person behind you at the drive-thru. (This is really fun! It freaks out the folks at the window.)
• Write a note to a friend telling them how great they are.
• Pick up a dropped item for someone.
• Get something off a high shelf for someone at the store (especially elderly folks in carts).
• Compliment someone or tell them that you appreciate them.

I'm sure you can think of lots more. One of my favorite family memories involves a good deed. We pulled up to a red light and noticed two young men trying to push a car out of the intersection. Rick and both our sons quickly jumped out of the truck and ran to help. I switched to the driver's seat and followed them with the flashers on. They got the car off the road and it so happened that the passenger was a guy we knew who worked at Gamestop. He and his friend were so appreciative of the help! You never know what little thing you can do that means tons to someone.

If you really want a challenge today, then read over the second scripture again and do a good deed for someone that burns your biscuits. Yes, praying for them counts as a good deed. Or go the extra mile and bless them with a gift card, a kind note, or something really imaginative. Remember, both scriptures above were spoken by Jesus Himself, who prayed from the cross for forgiveness for the very ones who crucified Him. What a wonderful example of kindness He set for us!

Have a kind day!

Lord, thank you for all the blessings which you have so graciously provided in my life. Help me and all those taking this challenge to be generous, giving, and considerate with others today and everyday. Please show us good deeds to do and empower us to do them. Let Your light of glory shine through our works. Amen.

Tolerant Tuesday

The Daily Kindness Challenge

In your patience possess ye your souls. 
~ Luke 21:19

Tolerant Tuesday is all about patience and understanding! One definition of the word tolerate is to accept or endure (something or someone unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance (polite, patient restraint).  I love what Jesus said in the scripture above. In our patience, we possess our souls. It is a key to self-control. So often, when we lose our patience, kindness gets lost with it.

The first part of Tuesday's challenge is to keep your patience to the best of your ability. I'll admit, I'm worried about this one. Lately, my patience has not been what it used to be. But, I know the Bible says that the Lord's strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). I look forward to His strength today.

The other part of our challenge is to be more understanding of people. Show kindness when you disagree or when someone rubs you the wrong way. Put yourself in their shoes. Stand on Boo Radley's porch. Treat them the way you would like to be treated. 

(Warning: Soapbox Rant ahead)

I get so riled up when I hear Christians say that we aren't to be tolerant of other peoples' differing lifestyles or beliefs. #1 - Jesus treated people with kindness, despite their beliefs and sins. For an example, check out John 4. Jesus spoke kindly to the Samaritan woman at the well; more concerned with showing her love and truth than correcting her sins. #2 - You don't have to agree with someone to be kind to them. Like the definition of tolerate says: accept or endure with forbearance. If you can't accept, at least endure with polite, patient restraint. #3 -We "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) So folks need to get off their high horses and demonstrate some brotherly love! I could go on, but....

(End of Soapbox Rant) :)

Yes, I know, I need to be patient and understanding of those who aren't there yet. Touché, Lord.

Here are two more scriptures to strengthen you today:

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. 
~ James 1:4

And may the God of patience and consolation grant you to be like minded toward one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one mind and one mouth you may glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore receive one another as Christ also received us, to the glory of God. 

~ Romans 15:5-7

Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Jesus to be such a wonderful example of kindness. Thank you for the Gospels and the men who wrote them, so that we could be blessed by Jesus' ministry. I ask for Your strength today to help me be patient, understanding, and kind in the face of challenging situations and people. Help me to possess my soul through patience. Help me to be kindly tolerant of people who live and believe differently from me. Help me to see them through Your loving eyes. I pray this for myself and for each person taking the challenge today. Amen.

Mind-your-Manners Monday

The Daily Kindness Challenge

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another;
~ Romans 12:10

Often overlooked, but always appreciated, good manners are kindness in action. So, today's challenge is a simple refresher of the basics - mind your manners. 

Here are some examples to keep in mind today:

• Use please and thank you every chance you get!
• Hold open a door for someone today.
• Choose faces over phone today by putting your phone away while having face-to-face conversations with friends, co-workers, or service people. If you must take a call, simply smile and say "excuse me please."
• Drive courteously.
• Ask how people are, listen to their response, and comment in a way that makes them feel heard.
• Use good table manners, like chewing with your mouth closed, asking for food to be passed rather than reaching, and using a napkin properly.
• Don't interrupt others while they are talking.
• And, the Golden Rule: treat others the way you would like to be treated yourself.

Oh dear! I need to work on these! It's amazing to me how relaxed we become about things without even realizing it. Manners may seem a bit old-fashioned these days, but they are still the basic building blocks of kindness. 

Have a kind day!

Lord, thank you for my parents and all the other people in my life who taught me good manners. Help me to improve upon mine. Help me to prefer others over myself by being courteous to them and mindful of their needs and comfort. I pray for each person taking the challenge today and ask the same for them. Please be with them today, Lord, and help them to be kind. Amen.

Speak-Sweet Sunday

The Daily Kindness Challenge

Out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a fountain send forth at the same hole the sweet and the bitter? 
~ James 3:10-11

There are so many scriptures about the importance of speaking kindly! I chose this one because I love the illustration that sweet and bitter water cannot both come from the same spring. Our mouths should speak only sweetly, like sweet water flowing from a life-giving fountain.

So, that's our challenge today. Speak sweet words, kind words. Speak words that build up, not tear down. Purposefully, give compliments and encouragements today. Use a pleasant tone of voice.

Remember your 3 Focus Areas:

• Speak kindly to yourself. Give yourself a compliment. Engage in some positive self-talk. David had to encourage himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6). You can do that too!
• Speak kindly to your Inner Circle. Confession time! I talk meaner to my husband than I do to anyone else - and this ought not to be so! Too often, we fall into the trap of being unkind to those closest to us, those that know us well and will love us anyway. Yet, these are the very people that most deserve, and will probably most appreciate, our kindness! Speak extra sweetly to your loved ones today!
• Speak kindly to your Outer Circle. As people cross your path today, offer a pleasant greeting. Say a little something extra that you normally wouldn't say.

If you're tempted to speak bitterly today, think twice before you do. How can you turn the bitter to sweet? Want to complain? Express gratitude instead. If you have to criticize, sandwich the criticism between two compliments. If you're tempted to yell at someone, speak in a whisper.

Here are some more scriptures to consider. There are lots more on this subject, so feel free to share others in the comments here or on Facebook.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 
~ Ephesians 4:29

A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word in due season, how good it is! 
~ Proverbs 15:23

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but crookedness in it is a break in the spirit. 
~ Proverbs 15:4

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles. 

~ Proverbs 21:23

Lord, I am so grateful for the gifts of speech and communication! Please place a guard on my mouth today and help to me be mindful of the words I speak. I choose to speak kindly today - to myself and others - and I thank you for giving me the strength and boldness to do so. Amen.

Smiling Saturday

The Daily Kindness Challenge

...for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
~ Nehemiah 8:10

A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance....
~ Proverbs 15:13

Smiling is the simplest form of kindness. It is an immediate positive connection between two people. I don't have to tell you how good it feels to be smiled at, or to smile back. You already know this. I'm sure you've heard that smiles are contagious, and that they release endorphins that relieve stress. You know all the reasons why you should smile. But maybe you need a reminder to just do it.

So go ahead, smile. Spend your Saturday smiling. After all, it is Saturday! Smile at your family and friends. Smile at that grumpy neighbor. Smile at that harried waiter and that busy cashier. Smile at your pets.

Easy, you say? Okay, so how about that one person that you really don't want to smile at today. Smile at them! If you don't see them today, smile while you're thinking about them. Ha! I challenge you to do that!

No problem, you say? Then I challenge you to smile at.... yourself! Go stand in front of the mirror, look yourself square in the eyes and SMILE! For at least 5 seconds. I dare you! I double-dog dare you to do it every time you look in the mirror today! Stop looking at your hair, or your makeup, or your waist, or your thighs. Look into your own eyes and smile at the person in there. Powerful stuff.

Maybe you are so far down today that you just don't have a smile in you. I've felt that way. A lot. Sadness shows on my face. When Rick sees that I'm down, he tells me to smile. He gets persistent. So, I fake it. I've learned that if I fake it long enough, it sticks. It becomes genuine. If you're having one of those down days, I encourage you to at least try a fake smile. Watch a funny show, or read a few jokes. Maybe a smile will sneak up on you. When it does, share it with someone.

And don't forget to soak up all the smiles that are directed at you today. Look for them. Notice them. Acknowledge them. ENJOY them!

Have a kind day!

Lord, thank you for joy! Please strengthen me with Your joy today and let it radiate from my face. Help me to smile more. Help me to smile to people, rather than at them. Please bless each person that I smile to today and minister to their needs. Be with all who have accepted the Smiling Saturday challenge today. Give them joy and peace. Amen.

The Daily Kindness Challenge

And be kind to one another... 
~Ephesians 4:32

Kindness has been on my mind for a long time. I think it is lacking in the world today, and that is sad. The simplicity of kindness is underrated and overlooked, yet it is one of the most powerful forces that a human being can wield. Kindness has the power to change someone's countenance, lift their spirits, alter their actions, and affect the course of their day or even their life. Can you imagine how different your own life would be if the people around you were simply more kind? Or if you were kinder to others?

As I mentioned, I have often thought about kindness, but I've found myself continuously falling short of where I'd like to be. Yesterday, my wonderful cousin, Susan, posted a Facebook status that convicted me, but also sparked an idea. She wrote: "What act of kindness, what deed of love, have you done today? Shouldn't we try to attempt more of them every day?" I was hard pressed to think of something. Actually, I wondered if not punching somebody in the face might count. And, yes, I do think we should try to attempt more acts of kindness daily. As I wondered what I could do, I realized how simple kindness can be. From that, this challenge was born. So, first of all, thank you, Susan, for your inspiration!!

The Challenge: For each day of the week, there will be a specific form of kindness to meditate on and practice throughout the day. I will post a short reminder/summary on Facebook daily, and here on the blog I'll include scriptures, encouragement, and ideas. These are simple daily challenges!

3 Areas of Focus: Kindness is not just for strangers on the street. In this Challenge, we will practice being kind to everyone, including ourselves!

• Be Kind to Yourself - I listed this one first, because I think kindness should start right here every morning. How can we be kind to others if we are unkind to ourselves? I suspect that this is a key to unlocking kindness in our lives. Remember the second greatest commandment? Love your neighbor as yourself. 
• Be Kind to Your Inner Circle - By Inner Circle, I mean those who are closest to you, those you interact with daily or regularly. They are your family, co-workers, close friends, neighbors, etc. Sadly, I think we are often more unkind to these people than we are to total strangers. Time to change that!
• Be Kind to Your Outer Circle - These are acquaintances, service people (cashiers, receptionists, nurses, etc.) and strangers. You may not know them well, but they are people with their own hopes and struggles, and are deserving of (and sometimes desperate for) your kindness.

The Goal: Simply to be a kinder person. For one week, complete each Daily Challenge by meditating on and practicing the task. Mistakes may happen, but they don't matter. Practice makes perfect, but it takes time. Continue the Daily Challenges for as many weeks as you'd like.

Daily Challenges: Here are links to each day's challege:

• Smiling Saturday
• Speak-Sweet Sunday
• Mind-Your-Manners Monday
• Tolerant Tuesday
• Wonderful-Works Wednesday
• Thoughtful Thursday
• Find-No-Fault Friday

So, Kind Reader, I challenge you to join me! Take The Daily Kindness Challenge! Challenge others. Feel free to link this page and share the Facebook posts. Please share your successes, setbacks, and suggestions in the comments.

One Final Note: I know very few people who are downright unkind. Everyone in my own Inner Circle is kind. Yet, I think most of those kind people would agree that we all have some areas where we could do better. We could be more mindful of kindness. I know that I need to be kinder. I need to stop expecting others to be kind to me, and make the first move to be kind to them (and to myself).

Lord, I am so grateful for Your steadfast kindness toward me. Today, I lift up to You each person who takes this challenge and I ask that You lead, guide, and help them along their paths. Please help me to be kinder to the people around me and to myself. Help me to meet each daily challenge, so that people are blessed by my actions, words, and countenance. Help me to make kindness a daily habit. Let me be a vessel through which Your light of kindness shows brightly. Amen.

The Eye of the Beholder

About fifteen months ago, I wrote a blog entry that I never posted. It was the most difficult one I have ever written. It took over a month to write, and even when it was finished, I hesitated to post it. Several days into that hesitation, I had an accident that left my hip injured and my confidence shattered. The entry was left in my files, unpublished - a bold statement, a declaration of freedom - hidden away. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and decided that it deserves posting. So, here it is...

~~~

June 6, 2012 -

Recently, I watched an episode of the original Twilight Zone series entitled The Eye of the Beholder. It's the story of a woman who undergoes experimental medical treatments in an attempt to make her look "normal." If you've never seen it, you should. I found it for free on vudu.com; but it's also available on Amazon, Netflix and Itunes. I won't post any spoilers here, but I will say that it is a timely parable about conformity and our need to "fit in."

I have not seen this episode in many years. Although I remembered the plot quite clearly, I was surprised by the impact that the message has on me now. I thought I knew this story. Yet, as I watched, I found myself understanding it at a deeper level than ever before. I was particularly struck by the overwhelming influence of "society" as portrayed in the story by the doctors, nurses and the leader. They represented a deeply ingrained prejudice against anyone who looked different than themselves - a prejudice that was even shared by the woman protagonist. She hated herself because society had taught her to do so. As I watched the program this time around, I found myself identifying with the woman in bandages.

Last Fall, I woke up to the realization that my self-esteem was in decline and had been slipping for some time. There were several factors involved, but a major factor was my body image. I was ashamed of my weight. Plus-size women are pretty common in my family tree. I have never been small and never expect to be so. I guess there has always been some internal conflict for me concerning size. Part of me easily accepts that I'm just a big girl - the same as I accept that my eyes are brown. Yet, another part of me has always felt guilty about that acceptance. Sometimes the guilt has been stronger and sometimes the acceptance has had the upper hand. Influences have played a prominent role in the struggle.

I went through a particularly rough spell in college after ballooning up one summer as the result of an anti-depressant medication's side effect. I felt very self-conscious and sunk deeper into depression. But, my studies actually helped to combat my insecurities. Art history class taught me that the concept of the ideal human form changes from era to era. Voluptuous female bodies have been considered the perfect form in many eras. Peter Paul Rubens painted curvy, full-figured goddesses that are quite beautiful. Venus at the Mirror is my favorite. In human anatomy, I learned that women's bodies are designed to store fat more so than men's. In figure drawing classes, we had many different models. The large women were the most fun to draw. Their curves were so beautiful. The thin models were more difficult to draw - angular rather than curvy. They had a different kind of beauty. All of them were lovely. Learning such things gave me a better opinion of my own body. I swung back to acceptance mode.

Other influences have not been as positive. All my life, I have had women around me that were trying to lose weight. Some have been unsuccessful in getting the pounds off. Most of those who did succeed have been unsuccessful at keeping them off. So, I've never been convinced that diets are worth the trouble. I've come to realize that the more time I spend with women who are extremely weight conscious, the worse I feel about myself. I cannot begin to describe how painful it is to hear women complain about being fat and needing to lose weight when they are several sizes smaller than me! It has happened so many times and each time, without realizing it,  I internalized shame. The past few years have been particularly hard for me in this respect. Such talk has always come across to me as an accusation, even if it was not meant to be. It's as though I am expected to take the hint. It's as if I am being covertly judged. I have actually had women pray for me to lose weight, when I did not request it. I have been told where to sit, so that I don't crowd others. I have been told (by thin women) how I should dress for my figure (again, without requesting the advice). I have been told I should become a vegetarian. I understand that these women thought they were being helpful; but in truth, they were being hurtful. God has been helping me to deal with the resulting pain and anger. He has helped me to see that those women were dealing with their own body issues. He is helping me to forgive and move on.

I have kept these things to myself as much as possible, battling the increasing shame in secret. I've cried on my husband's shoulder when it was the most difficult and have gotten his continual reassurance that I am beautiful just as I am. I have poured my heart out to the Lord again and again. At times, I gave in to peer pressure and convinced myself that I needed to lose weight. I would seek the Lord on the matter, promising to do whatever he led me to do. I never sensed a release. I never had peace about pursuing weight loss. I sensed so strongly that He was telling me to wait on Him. In doing so, I have come a very different path than the one I expected.

Instead of revealing a divine weight loss plan, the Lord revealed my own insecurities and my own acceptance of society's prejudice against full-figured women. As I mentioned, last Fall my eyes were open to my own destructive thoughts. I was comparing my appearance to that of the women around me and the women represented as "beautiful" by a biased media. I was buying in to all the hype that "thin is good and fat is evil." I did not see myself as beautiful, even though my husband tells me that I am. I did not see myself as healthy, even though the results of my last physical exam were pristine (the doctor's own word). I was deceived.

 If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then we must consider the purity of the eye in question. Has it been contaminated by society's fickle whims? Mine were. I have come to realize that I didn't need the numbers on my scale to drop... I needed the scales to drop off my own eyes. I have been reprogramming my thoughts with God's Word. It says that physical beauty is vanity that fades as the grass. It also says that God is no respecter of persons. He does not prefer thin people over heavy. He tells us to come to Him as we are. He looks upon our heart, not our outward appearance. God associates true beauty with holiness. I choose to pursue holiness as a beauty treatment. Not a holier-than-thou attitude, but an acknowledgement that I am imperfect, weak in my own efforts, and dependent on the Lord for His strength.

I have also been doing research of a more practical sort. Last month, I read a book entitled Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight. Reading it was absolutely liberating. Now I know what is behind the so-called "obesity epidemic." Money. There is money to be made in the weight loss industry. If you want to know more, read the book. I won't go into it here. I came away from that book with revelation of two things: I am beautiful NOW and I am healthy NOW! I don't have to lose weight to be those two things. I don't have to lose weight to be valid... to be useful... to be loved... to be accepted. I am now! When I read the section of the book that brought about that epiphany, I cried great big tears of relief! I sought the Lord as I wept and I sensed release and confirmation in my heart. It was for this revelation that the Lord had me wait.

I have taken much of the book's advice, and in doing so I have experienced some amazing changes. I am looking at my own reflection with that artist's eye that once saw the beauty in women of all sizes. I like what I see in the mirror! I smile back at myself. I'm primping more, just for the fun of it - wearing jewelry... fixing my hair... I even painted my nails! I am eating more, but making better choices. No more starving myself between meals. I do not deny myself any type of food; instead I relish the taste of it and I'm satisfied quicker. No more guilty eating. I laugh at the scale instead of calling it a liar. It has no power over me now!!! Ha!! My weight has stayed the same, but I am rejoicing about it! I go for walks because I want to, not because I "have to" and I'm walking more often. I am much happier and far less anxious. At one time, I believed that I would have to change my body in order to feel good about myself. It turns out that I only had to change my mind!

Weight loss is not a goal for me. Enjoying my life right now is my goal. Living in the moment, without the bondage and pressure of "fitting in" is my goal. Maintaining my health is my goal. Taking care of my body is my goal. Guarding my eyes and ears from derogatory influences is my goal.  But, I have another goal and I believe it is the entire reason that the Lord led me to the place I am today. My goal is to become a confident woman, comfortable in my own body, so that I can be a light to other women who are struggling in theirs. I want to tell them that God loves them no matter what they weigh and it's okay for them to love themselves. By being secure in who I am right now, I can more confidently reach beyond myself to bless others. By getting body issues out of the way, I can put more energy into pursuing God.

Now, back to that Twilight Zone episode and the woman in bandages.... Is she any different than the countless women in our society today who believe they must lose weight in order to be "normal"?  Are bariatric surgery, liposuction, diet pills, calorie restrictions, fat gram counting, relentless exercising and other weight loss programs really any different than the experiments that the woman in bandages endured? Give it some thought. And if you haven't seen the episode, watch it. It will bless you.

I know many women right now who are losing weight or trying to do so. Please know that I love you dearly and I do support you even though I won't be joining your efforts. I congratulate you for every pound lost, because I know how difficult it is. Yet, there are two things that I desperately want to tell you: First, you are beautiful right now, this minute. You have been beautiful all along. Yes, physically beautiful! You, yes you!! You know I'm talking to you! You are beautiful!! Second, It's perfectly fine to believe this about yourself right now. Don't wait until you reach that goal, or the next goal after that one. Don't let your self-worth and self-image get caught up in some ideal vision of yourself. Don't compare yourself to others. Take a long, hard look at the influences in your life that make you feel ugly, fat or in any way deficient. Reject them. Cast them down. Allow God to show you how beautiful you really are. You are beautiful right now!

~~~

September 28, 2013 -
It's been a long road from there to here, and the past fifteen months have been some of the most challenging of my life. A bad fall tore tendons in my left hip, causing me terrible pain. Standing, walking, and sitting were unbearable. I could only get comfortable laying flat. It took months to heal. Just after the pain really receded, I had some serious symptoms that caused my doctor to caution me that it might be cancer. After lots of tests, it turned out that I only had a severe hormone imbalance, most likely triggered by stress from the hip injury. That's been corrected, and I'm learning how to keep it corrected. What I really gained from all those tests was confirmation that, yes, I AM healthy. I still weigh the same that I did fifteen months ago. I don't care! What I do care about is that I don't hate my body. It's not my enemy, it's just my body. I'm taking good care of it... and I still think it's beautiful.

A Mouse in the Bird Feeder

All things bright and beautiful,

All creatures great and small,

All things wise and wonderful,

The Lord God made them all.*

 

 

As Rick went to fill our bird feeders yesterday, he found a surprise. A mouse was inside one of the feeders, eating the few little seeds left at the bottom. Of course, Rick came to get me immediately. Any wildlife sightings on our little suburban habitat are shared with excitement. He tried to get a picture of the little guy, but, as you can see, the clear plastic was clouded by age and dirt (time to clean the feeder). Thinking he was stuck inside, Rick took down the feeder carefully, planning to open it and lay it down for the critter to escape. Well, he sure fooled us. As soon as the feeder moved, he slipped through a tiny slit at the bottom, jumped down and skittered to the brush pile in a flash.

I suspect this is the same mouse that I spied a couple of months ago. While gardening in the back yard, I saw a mouse zip along our back fence and right up the wisteria vine that grows upward from the fence into the branches of a large oak tree. His speed and agility impressed me. I walked over to the tree and spotted him on one of the branches. He sat nestled on the limb, watching me with his tiny black eyes. His big round ears listened as I told him I had never seen a mouse in a tree before. We had a nice little conversation until Rick and Quinten walked outside and asked me what I was doing. Apparently, they were a little amused to find me standing in the backyard, looking upward into a tree, and talking. Personally, I think they should be used to such behavior by now. Anyway, the mouse must have been too shy for so many visitors, because he ran further up into the tree and disappeared. The guys got a glimpse of him as he went, which helped to validate my story.

Lately, I find so much joy in such small moments as these. Even as I write this, I stop to watch a squirrel eating corn from the squirrel feeder, and another raiding the freshly filled bird feeder, straining and bending like a carnival contortionist to get at the seed. Kitty Mau joins me at the computer, asking "Mhuh?" and "Mngow?" Her words for "Whatchya doin'?" and "Can I help?" She's being very verbal today. I have to pause while she nestles herself in my lap. I am grateful for the animals in my life, wild and tame, big and small. They entertain me, comfort me, amaze me and help me keep things in perspective. They are a constant reminder of God's heart. He cared enough to put a vast number of animals on the earth in all shapes, sizes, colors and species. He made sure each had provision and the ability to live in its particular climate and adapt to natural shifts in seasons and weather. What a grand design! If God can orchestrate all of that, He can certainly handle my little life.

*The first stanza from the hymn All Things Bright and Beautiful by Mrs. Cecil F. Alexander.

The Feast

There once was a great man who was troubled by the hunger that he saw all around him. He provided a lavish feast of all the finest delicacies and he invited everyone to attend the feast and partake of its marvelous bounty. There was no charge. The great man, as master of the feast, had paid the bill in full. Word began to spread. Many people came and enjoyed the feast. Others heard about the feast, but mistakenly thought they must pay for their meal. They set about working so that they could earn their place at the table. Still others heard about the meal, but felt excluded. They did not know the invitation extended to them. Many thought that the invitation was only for the elite, so their lowly status kept them from attending. The master was saddened because he had provided sufficiency for all, and many had yet to receive. He was troubled to see the bickering that took place at some tables, as his guests vied for the best foods when there was more than enough. He watched in disgust as people guarded their tables and excluded others from sitting with them, or even drove some away from their midst. His heart was most grieved by the guests who had eaten their fill, but now stood in the doorway turning away the hungry. These self-appointed guards barred entrance to the starved because they were too hungry, too different. Word soon spread outside the feasting hall that the people at the feast were terrible and cruel, and so assumed that the master of the feast was likewise terrible and cruel. However, there was a remnant of guests who understood the master’s intention. They knew that he provided the feast out of his great love for the people, so that no one would ever starve. They received the bounty with gratitude and gladly shared it with others, taking food out to those who were excluded. With kindness, they spread the word that the meal was free and all were welcome. They gladdened the master’s heart by fulfilling his purpose.

***

I tell this story to paint a picture of Christianity. I believe that when Jesus was crucified, he paid for the sins of all mankind - past, present, and future. He is the master of the feast. Grace, mercy, and forgiveness are the food. The hungry are those who were born into this fallen world, bound to sin by default. Not sin, the action, but sin, the state of being. Partaking of the master’s feast changes one’s state of being from sin to righteousness, from hungry to filled, born again into a relationship with our Creator. The most important point that I want to make is this - the table was laid and food was provided for all. The master’s wish was that all would come and be filled. There are obstacles that keep some from receiving; but forgiveness, grace and mercy are available for all. 

So, on this Easter Sunday, this day of celebrating His glorious Resurrection, I gratefully honor the Master who paid the price for all mankind to be filled. His sacrifice provided restoration to a place of right-standing with our Creator, regardless of our faults, mistakes, lifestyles or efforts. I receive forgiveness. I embrace grace. I proclaim mercy. I encourage the hungry to receive His bounty today and be filled. Know that the One who created you loves you with a great passion. He sees past your imperfections and loves you right now, for who you are. And, finally, I ask those who are filled: Are you barring the door, or are you inviting them inside?

It's Been Awhile...

A long while....

[deep cleansing sigh........]

Catching up...

The seasons shifted from Fall to Winter and now Spring is fast approaching. I have watched the seasons closely, drinking in the details of nature undergoing her metamorphoses. Fall was a delight! As summer waned, I scanned the green trees for signs of color change. Daily, I noted the subtle shifts in color. As the season progressed, subtlety gave way to drama as green gave way to yellow, gold, red and burnt orange. The yard filled with leaves as the trees emptied. Rick and I watched the squirrels search for hiding places for their treasured pecans. Most of them are buried in my garden. Winter settled in with the usual fickle Texas weather. Once again, God graced us with a white Christmas. Big fluffy flakes hurried down all day and blanketed nature in a quiet stillness. My family played in it, loved it, then warmed ourselves by the fire. Perfection! The trees have slept in watchful, still slumber with their bare-boned branches silhouetted starkly against the gunmetal skies. The squirrels have returned to recover their buried treasure. Birds have flocked the feeders and roosted in the hedges and brush pile, singing their wintry songs. Now the neighbor's elm has donned an ephemeral veil of green. The hyacinths are blooming and filling the garden with their lovely scent. Spring is hurrying to displace Winter, who is holding his ground today with a cold rain. Not since I was a child, have I so enjoyed the changing seasons and the details of nature.

My physical body has been through the wringer for the past few months. I don't wish to share the details; but after many unpleasant tests and too much waiting, I can finally say that all is well and balance is being restored. I can also say that my confidence in the medical industry has never been lower and my faith in Jesus as my healer has never been greater. Each trip to the doctor left me with questions, doubts and fear. But the Lord was my anchor. He reminded me continually to fear not and believe only. He told me the end at the very beginning. All is well. He taught me to cease from my own self-efforts and simply rest in Him, trust in Him, believe His word, surrender to Him. On the outside I have had so much anxiety, but at my very center, He is there with complete peace. I am learning to let the peace spread from the center outward. I am learning... so... much.... God is good and His mercy endures forever. His love never fails. Nothing can separate me from His love. This is truth.

How powerful it is to simply let God be true. To acknowledge that He has all the answers and is simply waiting for us to ask Him the questions. Just two nights ago, I had such a concern on my heart for a loved one. As I laid down to sleep, I asked God for help and committed the situation to Him. I awoke the next morning to the answer. Five minutes of research confirmed it. So simple. Answered prayer. It amazes me how much energy we expend on worry and doubt and fear; how hard we work to solve our own problems, like hamsters on a wheel; how many times we try to pull answers from family, friends, mentors, experts and the internet, when they obviously know no more than we. And through all of that effort on our part, God simply waits, with all the answers we need, for us to realize that we need Him. And when we come to Him in faith and simply ask, the answer comes. Maybe not immediately, maybe not the way we expect, but the answer does come. He is faithful.

Dear reader, I encourage you today to simply believe God. Commit your cares to Him and ask for His help. Cast negative thoughts and emotions aside and breathe in His goodness. Take a moment to drink in the beauty of nature and notice the changing seasons. Thank God for the beauty around you, the health that you have, your loved ones, and all His tender mercies.

Be blessed!

Starting NaNoWriMo in the Middle

A friend of Quinten's is participating in NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month (November). So when he told me about it last Thursday evening, I got excited. Sure it was already halfway through the month - literally, it was November 15 - but I decided to give it a go anyway. Hey, I'm up for a challenge!

NaNoWriMo is an annual competition held by a non-profit to encourage writers to write. The goal is to write 50,000 words of a novel in 30 days (Nov. 1-30). Anyone who reaches the goal is declared a winner. The prize - bragging rights!

I have wanted to write a novel for as long as I can remember. I have started about five, I think. So, I saw this as a wonderful discipline/learning experience. Yes, I was pretty intimidated by the fact that I'm starting at a significant handicap, having lost half the month. But even if I only reach 20,000 words, hey I will have written 20,000 words! This is a win-win situation. After reading a few forums on nanowrimo.org, I learned that lots of folks have started halfway through or even later and still won! Inspiring!

So, I am officially signed up and writing a novel. In just 48 hours, I have already written 6,222 words! The guys are being very supportive. Today I wrote while the guys hung Christmas lights. I gophered for them when they needed it, but I also wrote - a lot. Most importantly, I am having a blast!! Anyway, there will be no more blogs this month, because I will be busy writing a novel! My word count will be updated daily on the image above. Prayers and encouragement will be greatly appreciated. See you in December! In the meantime: Happy NaNoWriMo and Happy Thanksgiving!!

NaNoWriMo Journal:

11/19/12 - Amazingly, I have written 10,107 words in 3 days. I have a plot, characters and cliffhangers. I am learning the value of simply belting out a rough draft (and I do mean rough) as quickly as possible. No edits, no analyzing, no obsessing. Just record the story as it plays out in my head. Skipping chapters is okay when I don't quite have a part figured out yet. I just make a few notes of what I expect to write in that chapter, then move on with the story. I now understand what has shut me down in previous novels - you can't create and analyze at the same time. Pure creation is wonderful. It's like a locomotive, driving forward with power and momentum. Now, back to work!

11/30/12 - Nanowrimo was a great success. I passed 50,000 words with two days to spare. Most importantly, I completed the rough draft of a novel. Much editing to do... after the holidays. It was an amazing experience to allow myself to just create. I loved chasing the story and getting to know the characters. It was hard work that often left me mentally exhausted, with aching arms and shoulders from so much typing. But it was worth the effort.

On the Other Side

It is such a comfort to come from a family of faith, and to know that there is life on the other side of death. Yes, it’s still difficult and painful when a family member crosses over. But it’s good to have comfort in the knowledge of Heaven.

I think of families back in the pioneer days, when some would decide to load up a wagon and head west. I think of those family members that were left behind, not knowing what their loved ones were enduring or whether they were even still alive. They wondered if they would ever see their westward-bound family again, and so waited expectantly for news or a letter. Some of those who went west were never heard from again. The family back home would never know their fate.

When a member of my family dies, I think of them as making a journey. In some ways it’s like sending them off in a wagon train to a distant land that I have never seen, sure that I will never meet them again in this life. It’s hard to let go and the grief is overwhelming. I don’t know exactly what it will be like for them, what kind of an adventure it will be, or what their new home will look like. But, I have the comfort of knowing they will be safe beyond all pain and suffering. Even though this world will be emptier without them, even though I will miss them terribly, I find joy in the knowledge that my loved one is safely home.

Like the song says, I can only imagine what it is like on the other side. The Bible tells me enough to assure me that it is beautiful, lavish, joyful and secure. Sometimes I catch glimpses here and there – the sight of a long-gone family member who is now young and vibrant, a joyous voice that was so familiar here on earth, a glorious mist, angelic voices lifted in praise, and colors that are vivid beyond imagination. I can almost catch the excitement and anticipation that my heavenly family shares just before a loved one leaves us to join them. That great cloud of witnesses prepares to receive one home. I believe there is such grand rejoicing at their homecoming! Oh, what it must be like for the one who has just crossed over! How wonderful to finally reach that destination, to finally embrace those you have sorely missed, to meet generations of family for the first time, and to finally at long last be home! What a great and glorious joy it must be to finally meet Jesus face to face!

For those of us still on this side, as we say our goodbyes in the midst of our deep grief, let us lift our eyes and hearts in hope and perhaps catch a glimpse of the jubilant reunion taking place on the other side.

So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. ~ 1 Corinthians 15:54

HDR photo at top of page by Rick Welch, copyright 2012